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Met this dude at a Turning Point USA event. A true patriot.
LONG LIVE CHARLIE
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+rep

My name's PANETON SUMLETTERZ, right? And you might ask yourself, "Yeah, and?" HOO BOY! Wait till I break this down for ya. So.... Let's divide the name into chunks. PANETON SUMLETTERZ. PANET-ON SUM-LETTERZ. Doesn't that kinda sound like... WORDS? Try reading it out loud. PANET-ON SUM-LETTERZ. Check this out... PANET-ON SUM-LETTERZ. PAINT ON SOME LETTERS. WHUH!?!?!?!??!? Cool huh? Lemme repeat that. PANET-ON SUM-LETTERZ. PAINT ON SOME LETTERS. So it kinda sounds like I'm saying PAINT ON SOME LETTERS when in reality I'm just saying my name, PANETON SUMLETTERZ. Wordplay! Weird names! I'm kinda like an ACE ATTORNEY CHARACTER. I'll let you read my Edgeworth x Reader fanfiction later, IF YOU BEHAVE WELL. ....As I was saying..... Right! PANETON SUMLETTERZ. As indicated by my name, my job is painting on letters..... Onto SIGNS! More precisely, the HOTDEN sign! And what is the Hotden national tagline? "Where the coal burns warmer". Not too long, is it?

Well...... I think I may have misjudged my FONT SIZE and KERNING and WHATNOT........ Since all that fits on the sign is: "Where the coal bu" Aw jeez! Since it cuts off so abruptly.... You might read it and think to yourself.... "WHAT DA HECK!!!!" That's "cuz" it's all weird and stuff. ("cuz"????????????????) Try reading it out loud. "Where the coal bu" Wait, no, scratch that, what I MEANT to say is... Try reading "Where the coal burns warmer" but cut yourself off after "bu". "Where the coal bu(-rns warmer)" What a PHONETICAL nightmare!!! Let's see... Anything I'm missing? Well..... Some humour could be found in the fact that I'm a BROOM, or, you could say, some sort of BIG BRUSH. And.... What do you use BRUSHES for? ......PAINTING! And what could..... I use them for...? ........ ........Painting what? ........ ..............PAINTING ON SOME LETTERS!

And... Hehehehe.... AHAHEHEH..... Wheups, ahh, oh dear, sorry. I just thought of a new joke on the spot. Here goes. Picture this: I'm painting on some letters, but I realize that I messed up the FONT SIZE and KERNING and WHATNOT. So I take a STEP back, wipe some SWEAT off my BROW and mumble... "AH... OH DEAR... WHAT A PAIN(T)...!!" AHAHEHEHAHEHAHHAEHAHEAHAH!!!!! How was that? FUNNY? Yeah, you see, because of the phrase "What a pain"... ....And the word PAINT. Pain..... Paint..... Need I say more? Heheheheheh.... Ahhhh..... Maybe some day I should introduce you to my brother, SKRAWLON SUMLETTERZ. Or my postman cousin..... DALLIVER SUMLETTERZ. ....Heheheheh.........