I HATE BABIES. im the kind of guy who likes games that focus on realism in visuals while removing the pains of realism in the actual gameplay. Think: GTA, COD, Forza, etc. Realistic but by no means real at all. Im also not the kind of gamer who can ever really finish a game to 100% without getting bored. It take alot to keep me involved. i played this game 4 times through. i still visit to maintain my roads 3 years later. KOJIMA is not some kind of video game making god, hes just a normal dude who wants to challenge you and make you question your own happiness. Youre supposed to feel uncomfortable. FIND SOLACE IN THE INNER ANXIETY AND JUST LET YOUR FAMILY HUG YOU AGAIN. (everyone you meet in the game is a figment of your imagination, not a spoiler, probably not even true, i wear a tinfoil hat sometimes)

That being said; WHAT THE HECK IS THIS? AM I CRYING? HOW LONG CAN I MAKE NORMAN REEDUS GO WITHOUT A SHOWER? AM I PEEING ON THE SCARIEST THINGS IVE EVER SEEN? WHAT DOES THIS BUTTON DO?

Play the game offline first. Get as far as you can with no help. Play the game on the hardest setting or else its much too easy. Dont spend too much time in the first map, Move on to central area as soon as you can, come back later to dominate. Learn to whistle or play the harmonica. Dont focus too much on any of the deliveries beyond heartman. Go for it. Finish the game by yourself offline. THEN GO BACK AND START OVER ONLINE. Have fun. This game will change who you are inside. If you are depressed, It will undepress you. This game will leave you begging for more.