Girl invited me over to “fix her WiFi.” I agreed, obviously. I’m a red team engineer with custom firmware on my router and a Faraday cage around my smart toaster.

I showed up 10 minutes early, hoodie on, laptop in hand, booted into a hardened gentoo distro I compiled myself. She opened the door holding a MacBook Air. Chrome had 43 tabs open. I almost left right then.

I asked for her network topology diagram. She laughed. “It’s just the router from the ISP.”
Alright, I thought. Let her have it.

I popped open her router admin panel. Default password: admin123. The SSID was "PrettyFlyForAWiFi". I ran a nmapscan. 12 exposed ports, 3 outdated IoT devices, and a printer running telnet. No firewall. No VLANs. Just raw digital nudity.

I asked if she ever noticed weird lag. She said “yeah sometimes Netflix buffers.” I said that was probably because her TV was being used in a botnet out of Kazakhstan. She blinked twice. "Oh no, is that bad?"

Stop it I don't like it.

IF U WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA MOTHA ♥♥♥♥♥ THAT KILLED U!


..._.....____________________, ,
....../ `---___________----_____] = = = = = D
...../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//

WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER

i like that this guy deletes socials to study then just plays cs like a loser

═══════════ 👑👑👑👑👑👑👑═════════════
🔥🔥🔥 This dude is fire 🔥🔥🔥
❗️💯 Let’s be friends for future games 💯❗️

💎💎 Have a wonderful experience during each match💎💎
⚜️⚜️ Stay safe & take care⚜️⚜️

✅✅✅➕REP➕✅✅✅
🤤🤤🤤The profile is awesome🤤🤤🤤

════════════ 👑👑👑👑👑👑═════════════

I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange for that, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined because I am a person with high moral standards with a strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla. psych ♥♥♥♥♥