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报告翻译问题

12:16 PM - fuzzers: I was like naw son, naw
Me and my best bro used to play this game where we suck each others' ♥♥♥♥♥ and call the person who ♥♥♥♥ first a ♥♥♥. I usually win because my bro's never been all that great at ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, and when he jizzes in my mouth, I make him finish me off then give him a passionate kiss so he has to swallow both loads. Then I berate him for the next hour or so about what a total ♥♥♥ he is. To this day I've acumulated over 1200 victories in this battle of skill and edurance, not only over my best bro, but over hundreds of other chalengers. Each just wishing to earn the right to even call me a ♥♥♥.
So next time you decide to try to berate me by claiming I'm a ♥♥♥ for watching anime just remember I doubt you could suck off a ♥♥♥♥ even half as well as I can. ♥♥♥
8:18 PM - FuZZeRs: your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ would be ruined forever
8:18 PM - poopy thigh gap: LOL
1:27 PM - FuZZeRs: i would enlist just to come to singapore
1:27 PM - FuZZeRs: and enjoy your qt wimminz
1:27 PM - aticus: u can't be SERIOUS
1:27 PM - aticus: u got yellow fever BRO?
1:28 PM - FuZZeRs: you don't even understand
1:28 PM - FuZZeRs: i have yellow plague ♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.
POINT.
6:08 PM - FuZZeRs: always terrible
6:08 PM - poo poo: ,,,
6:08 PM - poo poo: oh godddd
6:08 PM - poo poo: wait
6:08 PM - poo poo: how do you
6:08 PM - poo poo: know
6:08 PM - FuZZeRs: peeping tom
6:08 PM - poo poo: LOL
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻: but we have 2 more european cups
aticus: ALRIGHT FUZZERS
aticus: IM KEEPING THIS CORDIAL
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻: hahahahaha
aticus: LOL
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻: i'm being as respectful as i can!
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻: :P
ṣηøω: im takin it!!
ṣηøω runs
fuzz: LOL
fuzz pursues in big wheel
ṣηøω: ooo ♥♥♥♥♥♥ son. its like dat??
fuzz: ya dawg
fuzz: got my big wheel rollin on a 24
fuzz: ya feel me
ṣηøω: naw man
ṣηøω: jus.. naw
fuzz: don't hate, appreciate
fuzz: http://www.gadgetizer.com/images/bigwheelpimp.jpg
fuzz: something like this
ṣηøω: wtf is dat???
fuzz: swag
ṣηøω: niiice
fuzz: i feel ya dawg
ṣηøω: ya feel meh
fuzz: gurlz b trippin n ♥♥♥♥
ṣηøω: i kno dats right
fuzz: straight up
ṣηøω: word
fuzz: its ok tho dudez b trippin 2
ṣηøω: pfft, whaaa?
ṣηøω: naw man
ṣηøω: now u b cray
ṣηøω: all up in da head or sum ♥♥♥♥
fuzz: errbody b trippin