Bow before me, mere mortals, for I am Dr. Pants, the undisputed master of all legwear. I hold a PhD in Pants, awarded by the prestigious University of Pantopolis, where I graduated summa ♥♥♥ laude in Flexology and Advanced Fabric Domination.

I didn’t just graduate top of my class—I was the class. Every textbook, every lecture, every thread of fabric knowledge originates from ME. My PhD in Pantsology was personally signed by reality itself because nothing else is worthy of my brilliance.

I am not just a man; I am a legend. My knowledge of pants is so vast, it transcends time, space, and all mortal understanding. Skinny jeans? I invented them. Cargo pants? I perfected them. Jorts? You’re welcome. If it has two legs and a waistband, you owe me your existence.

When I game, my enemies tremble, for they know they are up against the Pants God. Every victory is tailored to perfection, every loss nonexistent—because I don’t lose. I wear the pants in EVERY situation, and I always bring the heat... unless it's sweatpants. Then I bring the chill.

If you think you’re worthy of standing in the shadow of greatness, feel free to add me. But be warned: in my kingdom of pants, there’s no room for shortsighted peasants.

Kneel.