who farted

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDlR_ccnZww

damn, you live like this?

Ok, so imagine you're this girl. You've been single a while, you're ready to start dating again. You meet a guy, you're really into him. He's sweet, fun, outgoing, funny. You've been out a few times and you're thinking you want to maybe make things a little more official than they are. You know he's a big fan of EDM. And just as you're about to ask him 'what are we doing' he says he wants to ask you something. He asks if you want to go with him to a EDM festival. Your mind is racing, 'this is great' you tell yourself. 'He's including me in things that HE enjoys. He wants me to be a part of HIS life.'. So, you agree to go. You pack all your nicest clothes, and meet up in the morning with him and off y'all go. You get to the venue, the vibe seems cool. You've never been to a music festival, let alone a EDM festival. You're not sure what to think. But you're into it, for him. You've committed

(munching on pretzels) So, how’s your day been, buddy? We haven’t really talked much since I left you for dead. Hey, you think you’ll freeze to death out there? Nah, probably not. The bandits’ll get you first. My day? It's been pretty good. I just bought a pony made of diamonds, because I’m rich. So, you know. That’s cool. Kay, bye.

I’m rackin' my brain trying to think of a name for that diamond pony I bought. I was gonna call it “piss-for-brains” in honor of you, but that just feels immature. Maybe...”Butt Stallion”? Nah, that’s even worse. I’ll give it some more thought.

I should probably clarify -- the diamond horse I’ve been telling you about? It's not a sculpture, or anything. It's a living horse that actually happens to be made of -- actually, I'll just go get her. Butt Stallion! Say hello. (A horse whinnies.)

Butt Stallion says hello.

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