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报告翻译问题

*cuts you in half*
nothin personnel, kid
Me and my best friend used to play this game where we suck each others' ♥♥♥♥♥ and call the person who ♥♥♥♥ first a ♥♥♥. I usually win because my friends's never been all that great at ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, and when he jizzes in my mouth, I make him finish me off then give him a passionate kiss so he has to swallow both loads. Then I berate him for the next hour or so about what a total ♥♥♥ he is. To this day I've acumulated over 1200 victories in this battle of skill and edurance, not only over my best bud, but over hundreds of other chalengers. Each just wishing to earn the right to even call me a ♥♥♥.
So next time you decide to try to berate me by claiming I'm a ♥♥♥ for watching anime just remember I doubt you could suck off a ♥♥♥♥ even half as well as I can. ♥♥♥
Talk to you soon,
Jazzy.
No I'm not fat. No I won't make you a sandwich. No I'm not ugly. No I don't go out with girl gamers, because they're usually socially retarded and ugly. Yes my girlfriend is a bit of a 2D Loli, so what? No I won't show you my money, so don't ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ask.
And finally.
Yes, we do ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ exist, so stop saying otherwise. And we enjoy games (SHOCK HORROR) just as much as lady.
it must suck for you :'(
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It's COOL to be gay!
Post this on the wall of a homosexual friend and tell them how COOL they are
/<_/____/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
∧_∧
( ・ω・) ur gay
_| ⊃/(___
/ └-(____/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
<⌒/ヽ-、___
/<_/____/
 ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄ ̄
9666696669696666696666696669666966
9999696669696666696666696669666966
9666699999696699696699696669666966
9666696669696669696669696669666966
9666696669699999699999699999666966
Highlight the numbers
Press Ctrl + F
Then press 9
Post this on the walls of the 12 prettiest Girls you know...
If you get back 5 you're beautiful. ..
❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤
/::::::::::::;ゝ--──-- 、._/::::::::::::::|
/,.-‐''"´ \:::::::::|
/ ヽ、::|
/ ● ヽ|
l 、、、 ● l
.| (_人__丿 、、、 |
l l
` 、 /
`ー 、__ /
/`'''ー‐‐──‐‐‐┬--- /
RIP Elfbarf. 1992-2014
Post this on the walls of the 12 prettiest Girls you know...
If you get back 5 you're beautiful. ..
❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤