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报告翻译问题

( ºωº )つ━☆・*。
⊂| | ・゜+.
しーJ °。+ *´¨)
.• ´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•'* ☆ 𝒏𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒄𝒌 ☆
あなたの家の近くの
家の壁を無差別に
殴りまくります!
1時間¥1200~
24時間年中無休
/ )))
`/ イ (((ヽ
| (\ ∧_∧ | )
ヽ ヽ`(´・ω・)/ノ/
\ | ⌒Y⌒ / /
|ヽ | ノ/
Can anyone else relate to this?
All that's to say.
Leave these veterans alone.
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░▄██▌██████▄█▄█▄█▄█▄█▄████ ▌██▌ You've been visited by the fedora
▐████▄▀▀▀▀████████████▀▀▀▀ ███ of mystery and dong inhalation!
▐█████████▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄████ █▀ tip yours to 5 friends or you'll be
░░░▀▀████████████████████ haunted by the spirit of fashionable wear.
I was lubing up my ♥♥♥♥ with silicone lube, felt really good and got my ♥♥♥♥ really hard and was enjoying what I was watching.
Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, ♥♥♥♥ in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened.
I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled.