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报告翻译问题

Understand i'm looking for masters and mistresses<3
Call me anything you want, im obedient.
Keep me around, and i'll love you forever.
Masters and Mistresses, just accept I have others controlling me please.
Every day I'm here to please.
I'm also looking for really obedient pets.
Doesn't matter the gender.
Obedience is key.
Nice smart pets, preferably experienced.
Try to be on daily.
Cuties are especially accepted.
All your daily needs will be tended to.
Right under my wing and my protection.
Everyone who fits under these, are gladly accepted.
I love having loving pets I can tend to.
I love having masters and mistresses to please.
love and waffles,
t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m
☪ You say Miley Cyrus, I say Allah
☪ You say T-Pain, I say Allah
☪ You say Eminem, I say Allah
☪ You say Jonas Brother, I say Allah
☪ 92% of teens have turned to western degeneracy. If you are part of the 8% that still upholds the path of Islam, copy and paste this message to 5 other walls. DON'T LET THE SPIRIT OF ISLAM DIE!!!!!
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It's COOL to be gay!
Post this on the wall of a homosexual friend and tell them how COOL they are!
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It's COOL to be gay!
Post this on the wall of a homosexual friend and tell them how COOL they are!
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It's COOL to be gay!
Post this on the wall of a homosexual friend and tell them how COOL they are!
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It's COOL to be gay!
Post this on the wall of a homosexual friend and tell them how COOL they are!
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It's COOL to be gay!
Post this on the wall of a homosexual friend and tell them how COOL they are!
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It's COOL to be gay!
Post this on the wall of a homosexual friend and tell them how COOL they are!
The other night she and I were cuddling in bed and she started humping me and whispering "oniichan oniichan" and that turned me the ♥♥♥♥ on
so I called her "oneechan" and then she stopped and looked at me and I said "what is it" to which she replied "I always wanted a twin brother so we could ♥♥♥♥ all the time" (she's an only child and all I have is a younger brother)
so all night long we were humping and calling each other oniichan and oneechan and I came in my underwear and we were pretending we were brother and sister trying to sexually please each other without having sex and it was ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hot