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报告翻译问题

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To spice it up a bit, here is an Omelett recipe by Gordon Ramsey:
You will need:
• 2 fu*king eggs
• Some fu*king salt & pepper
• Chives, a handfull...
• 1 fu*king knob of fu*king butter
Now here's the method:
1) Heat the fu*king butter in a fu*king omelett pan.
2) Fu*king break the fu*king eggs into a fu*king bowl.
3) Fu*king whisk the fu*kers and add some fu*king salt & pepper to taste.
4) When the fu*king butter is hot, add the fu*king mixture to the pan.
5) When cooked take that fu*king thing out.
6) NOW EAT THE FU*KING OMELETT!!
This guy has the smoothest AK skills I've ever seen. How he was using the desert eagle & AWP gave me chills, it was like seing Ed Sheeran live. It was fantastic!!
His game sense is beyond your imagination and im not even gonna start about writing about his leadership abilities!
How he pushed the team, killed 3 guys every round and even when someone did a mistake he wouldn't blame them. His stats?: 66/10/20
I could not belive my eyes.
I went to the doctor after the game to check if my eyes were normal! (This is not a joke)
He is a legend...
He is BlockarN...
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──────╝─╚╚╝╩─╩─╚╝───────
╔═╗╗─╔╔╗─╦╔═╗╔╦╗╔╦╗╔╗╔═╗
║──╠═╣╠╩╗║╚═╗─║─║║║╠╣╚═╗
╚═╝╝─╚╝─╩╩╚═╝─╩─╝╩╚╩╩╚═╝
^"^
ゝ、 \ /⌒ヽ,ノ /´
ゝ、 `( ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) /
> ,ノ
∠_,,,/´ i'm coming for you mazafaka