Look, I'm gonna keep it a buck. I've been in a Russian prison since 2021, with no contact with the outside world but a small window overlooking an apathetic golf course, and a laptop with only steam and a plethora of games installed on it. They say video games will melt my brain enough to keep me compliant, and they are absolutely correct. I feel safe writing this, because they don't bother learning to read English, calling it a "barbaric language of imperialists and redditors." I write all this not as a plea for help, but as a flex. I have finally achieved the life I have always dreamed. All the time in the world to play games, plenty of shower attention, and the salt mines to exercise in. All this, and it's completely rent-free. So keep up the grind, gamers, because with hard work, and enough embezzlement from Novolipetsk Steel Corp, you too could be a true gamer like me.