Ggs! Was good fighting with you man! You're pretty good!

im sorry

Cat is meow. Cat is meow meow meow meow. Man is wake to Cat on face. Cat is want food. Man is get food for Cat. Cat is put food in water. Man is move water away from food. Cat is still put food in water.

this 'man' is short

Bananya is a mysterious cat who hides inside a banana. Bananya lives undercover inside a real banana, and no-one has ever seen the part covered by banana skin...

When nobody is around, Bananya secretly plays and creates mischief. Bananya likes to play and eat sweet things. Bananya's dream is to become a stylish chocolate banana.

We trust you have recieved the usual lecture from the local System Administrator. It usually boils down to these three things:
#1) Respect the privacy of others.
#2) Think before you type.
#3) With great power comes great responsibility.

A magician stood in front of a crowd. "For this last trick I will make myself appear in 100 different places around this very room" said the magician. The crowd watched in disbelief. "3...2...1...abracadabra". Yet the magician was still there. "Hmm let me try that again 3...2...1...abracadabra". Nothing. The magician starts to panic and checks his handbook for the instructions. "Ah ha!" says the magician. "I wasn't saying the correct magic word". He stands in front of the crowd again and says "3...2...1...ALLAHU AKBAR". Then with a sudden explosion he magically appeared in 100 different places in the room.
Needless to say the crowd was blown away.

I sexually Identify as a Hit Disney Chanel Original Movie. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of having a beautiful, whitewashed cast with one black guy and one Asian. People say to me that being both a Disney Channel Original Movie and a "hit" is Impossible and I'm stupid but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install crappy writing and the same four chords on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me DCOM and respect my right to make the same movie over and over again. If you can't accept me you're a disneyphobe and need to check your cinimatic privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

If my phone isn't getting any service, will putting shoes and a shirt on it help?

If your penguin appears to be waddling around Club Penguin in slow motion, there's a few things you can try to speed things up:
Make sure you're not running other programs while you're on Club Penguin. If you were visiting another website, make sure you exit out of it. Don't try to play Club Penguin while you're downloading music or video content from another site. This will slow things way down!
Sometimes things run slowly when the server is very busy. For example, Friday afternoon is a popular time to log in to Club Penguin. You might find that the game runs slowly then. Log in again, and try clicking on a server that isn't quite as full.
If you have more than four penguins saved on your log-in screen, this might make the game run slowly. Remove the penguins from your saved list. You can still login by typing in your penguin name each time.
You might also have a slow internet connection. Read Why is my connection slow? to find out more about this issue.

If your penguin appears to be waddling around Club Penguin in slow motion, there's a few things you can try to speed things up:
Make sure you're not running other programs while you're on Club Penguin. If you were visiting another website, make sure you exit out of it. Don't try to play Club Penguin while you're downloading music or video content from another site. This will slow things way down!
Sometimes things run slowly when the server is very busy. For example, Friday afternoon is a popular time to log in to Club Penguin. You might find that the game runs slowly then. Log in again, and try clicking on a server that isn't quite as full.
If you have more than four penguins saved on your log-in screen, this might make the game run slowly. Remove the penguins from your saved list. You can still login by typing in your penguin name each time.
You might also have a slow internet connection. Read Why is my connection slow? to find out more about this issue.

If your penguin appears to be waddling around Club Penguin in slow motion, there's a few things you can try to speed things up:
Make sure you're not running other programs while you're on Club Penguin. If you were visiting another website, make sure you exit out of it. Don't try to play Club Penguin while you're downloading music or video content from another site. This will slow things way down!
Sometimes things run slowly when the server is very busy. For example, Friday afternoon is a popular time to log in to Club Penguin. You might find that the game runs slowly then. Log in again, and try clicking on a server that isn't quite as full.
If you have more than four penguins saved on your log-in screen, this might make the game run slowly. Remove the penguins from your saved list. You can still login by typing in your penguin name each time.
You might also have a slow internet connection. Read Why is my connection slow? to find out more about this issue.