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报告翻译问题

Do you eat dinner with a spoon?
Because you always call it tea,
which is very confusing to me.
I hope you will show some penance,
maybe you will even get Scottish independence.
Your voice sounds like smooth butter,
calling people ♥♥♥♥ without a stutter.
Cruising through Scotland on your scooter,
I hope it's faster than your laptop computer.
Your favourite colour is green,
and when you're angry you get very obscene.
I hope you liked my rhyming,
despite it having very bad timing.