Kassadinner

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I once ate an entire roll of quarters the day before attending our neighborhood summer block party just so I could fool all my friends into thinking I could ♥♥♥♥ money. They all sat around getting pretty ♥♥♥♥-faced throughout the evening, and by the time the streetlights came on I was standing butt-naked on top of a picnic table defecating coins like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. They surrounded me like I was a malfunctioning slot machine, cupping their hands and catching my ass-quarters while cheering. No one seemed bothered the money was covered in my chunky ♥♥♥♥, they had dollar signs in their eyes. My ass sprayed in every direction. The sounds of my wet farts combined with loose change hitting the ground, and the dull plop of my turds landing on the wooden picnic table filled the air. Everyone praised Jesus for the miracle, asking if I could ♥♥♥♥ them enough money to pay their mortgage or get their wife a bigger pair of tits. What a ♥♥♥♥♥♥' night.

Number 15: Burger king foot lettuce. The last thing you'd want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus. But as it turns out, that might be what you get. A 4channer uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing his feet in a plastic bin of lettuce. With the statement: "This is the lettuce you eat at Burger King." Admittedly, he had shoes on. But that's even worse.

There's literally no difference between 5'11 and 6'1, and you can't prove otherwise. I'm sick of this ♥♥♥♥. Chicks keep saying they want a 6'1 guy, but there is literally no difference between that and a 5'11 guy. They're all ignorant. When you're 3 inches taller than somebody, then people start to notice, not 2 inches. Like, c'mon.

ouch

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https://youtu.be/fjkAnCVSjf0

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily fromNarodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian...

♥♥♥♥ off you live in connecticut. Connecticut is the worst place in the world. In Connecticut, people don't live, they are enslaved by the treachery that pervades that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on the Union. Not only does Connecticut promote anarchy and has no legal system, but it actually promotes acts such as murder and armed robbery. Connecticut claims to be part of New England, however it is simply New York's phallic extension. Real New England states, such as Rhode Island, are forced to be bordered with this lawless wasteland, and Massachusetts made the ultimate sacrifice by having the longest border of any state with Connecticut in order to protect Vermont and New Hampshire from Connecticut's horrible influence on the region and the entire world. People from Connecticut are known for their violent nature, often using insults and improper grammar in order to make a point. People from Connecticut include: Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, Pol Pot

I had a little fun with the guys last weekend and i am sad to find that one of my anal beads has come unstrung. At first i thought it was nothing but i have been unable to defecate for several days now, and i am growing concerned. Should i go to the doctor? I think that i might need to but i am very embarrassed due to the fact that my father works at the local doctors office. I could go to the hospital but the closest one is Rothschild Medical Center over 40 miles from here, and i do not have a car.

my dad grounded me from my gamecube one time because i said suck my ass bitchboy when he asked me to do the dishes so i stole his phone and took a bunch of pictures of my ♥♥♥♥ and emailed them to all his coworkers with a followup email that said 'oh no my sexy ass son must have taken my phone again haha sorry fellas' and not an hour later the cops showed up to my house and batista bombed my dad through the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ couch and took his ass away for diddling my penis
moral of the story is if youre reading this dad im coming for you when they release you from prison in 2022 nobody takes my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ gamecube away

Bro, seriously deactivate your Steam profile. You're trolling and it's just boring. I'm sure every one of Sara's friends have already gone through your profile and laughed. We know you're trolling because none of the late night Applebee's divorcees will let you take them back to your John Deere shed where your mom makes you sleep so you can show them your collection of Japanese bukake porn you got from stealing your neighbors wifi. Stick to "healthy" masterbation, not milking your prostate with the handle of a rusty hatchet your dad used to give himself a castration after realizing what a ♥♥♥♥ he produced.

I don't know why, but the Old School Runescape greater demon makes me incredibly horny. Am I the only one? The way his erotically rendered green tongue hangs, what do you think it's used for? Imagine him picking you up with his impressive hands and ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ you with his demonic ♥♥♥♥ and shooting a hot sperm load into you, filling you to the brim with his gooey load. After that? After your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and you're all worn out? He tongue ♥♥♥♥♥ you to the depth of your anus you've never thought possible. His large tongue filling the walls of your colon and sensually licking every detail. After that, you're his. You are his personal play toy, enslaved for stress relief. Your existence is relegated to being ♥♥♥♥♥♥ by a horny red demon all day. Wouldn't that just be amazing?

❗️❗️❗️ATTENTION 2003 KIDS❗️❗️❗️!!! This 👇 is the last year of being a kid 😔👦👧! Because NEXT 👉YEAR! We gon be T33N4G3RS💁🙅💅!! PARTYING 🎉💃 DRINKING 🍻🍸🍹🍷 MAKING OUT AND SEX 👅💦😳 PERIODS 😩🍫 HEARTBREAKS 💔😪 MIDDLE SCHOOL SOPHOMORES (7️⃣TH GRADE)

War has changed. It's no longer about nations, ideologies or ethnicity. It's an endless series of proxy battles, fought by mercenaries and machines. War, and its consumption of life, has become a well-oiled machine. War has changed. ID tagged soldiers carry ID tagged weapons, use ID tagged gear. Nanomachines inside their bodies enhance and regulate their abilities. Genetic control. Information control. Emotion control. Battlefield control. Everything is monitored, and kept under control. War has changed. The age of deterrence has become the age of control. All in the name of averting catastrophe from weapons of mass destruction. And he who controls the battlefield, controls history. War has changed. When the battlefield is under total control, war... becomes routine.

It has been 4 hours since I successfully grabed a can of bepis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-bepis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out. If I don't update this again please send help.

Y O U G R E E D Y D I R T B A G

d r i n k
b e p i s
f o r
l o n g
l i f e

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBZWvFx8_l8

ᶠᵘᶜᵏᵧₒᵤ

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out. If I don't update this again please send help.

I was only 9 years old
I loved Donald Trump
I had all the merchandise
Every night I’d pray to Trump for deporting illegal immigrants
My dad would hear me and call me a racist
I knew he was just jealous of my devotion to Donald Trump
I called him a ♥♥♥♥
He slaps me and send me to bed
I’m crying now and my face hurts
I feel a warmth approach me
It was Donald Trump
I’m so happy
He whispers in my ear “we need to build a wall”
Then he gets me out of bed and reaches in his pocket
I’m ready
I open my wallet for Donald
He gives me a small loan of a million dollars
It hurts so much, but I do it for Donald
I feel my wallet tearing as he puts the money in
He roars a mighty roar as he puts the money in
My dad walks in and says “what the ♥♥♥♥”
Donald Trump looks at him and says “you’re fired”
Trump leaves through the window
Trump is love, Trump is life

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It's COOL to be gay!
Post this on the wall of a homosexual friend and tell them how COOL they are :^)

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have my children

I like trains.