Everyone online calls Chris Chan a total failure & a walking warning, but honestly? I'm jealous as hell of his life. Dude had parents who loved him unconditionally, moved houses for better schools, fought to keep him home instead of dumping him in an institution, showered him with thousands in toys every year. His crappy art & comics got seen by way more people than most pros ever dream of: Doja Cat & Weird Al gave his OCs cameos, MLP & Sonic literally parodied him, he's in big games like Goat Simulator & Binding of Isaac. Thousands obsess over him: docs, books, albums, games, cult subreddit treating him like a god, women cosplaying him at cons, randoms sending him stacks of cash just to be his friend. No 80-hour grind here, he just chills at home, supported forever. Degree, no real job needed, endless validation & care. Meanwhile the rest of us bust our asses & get crickets on wage cages. Chris Chan's life is low-effort cheat code & half the haters are secretly jealous

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ME AND BAN :D

⚠️ BREAKING ⚠️ NO MORE HIDING YOUR WEAPONS OF MASS SEDUCTION 🔫🫦—the FULL BUSH DICKTRINE is officially declASSified and ♥♥♥ to an end🍑💦 That’s right, Daddy ♥♥♥♥ finally pulled out. 😏

He invaded my-raq 🇮🇶, occupied my heart 🫶, left my sanctions lifted 😵‍💫💦 never once asked for perMISSIONARY🫦🤷🏽‍♀️

He PUMPED 👹🧴 like crude oil 🛢️ left the world under-regulated and overstimulated🥵⚡️📈 Zero WMDs—just WMDADDIES😏 👨🏻👨🏿👨🏼🧓🏼🧓🏾👴🏽 in every CongrASSional 🍑hearing, sweating through their reDICKted 🍌BRIEFs-ings. 🩲😈📜

The nation salutes and history quietly whispers: MISSIONARY ACCOMPLISHED. 🇺🇸 
Spread this to 6️⃣9️⃣ patriots before the next fiscal climax or your ♥♥♥♥🍆 might get FRIENDLY FIRED☠️🔥

Why can't I donate my body to the zoo to be food for lions, tigers, bears, et cetera? I can let it rot in the ground, burn it, chop it up and donate everything, have it experimented with scientifically, turned over to teach students. Why not use it to feed the cool animals at the zoo? Everyone says I can't, but nobody can give a reason why not.

I've said from the start: Epstein did nothing wrong, there's no list/pedophile ring/blackmail/Mossad/CIA involvement, the accusers were mostly after lawsuit money like in many #MeToo cases, and the government/FBI know it, which is why nothing comes of it and they're even considering pardoning Maxwell.

I've said from the start: Epstein did nothing wrong, there's no list/pedophile ring/blackmail/Mossad/CIA involvement, the accusers were mostly after lawsuit money like in many #MeToo cases, and the government/FBI know it, which is why nothing comes of it and they're even considering pardoning Maxwell.