Bilky 最近的评测

Game runs like horsesh♥t. Buy it on sale if you must, and expect to spend a good hour or two tweaking the settings to get it to a state where it's somewhat playable.

As of today, Warner Brothers has decided that it's okay to exploit the death of a developer to make a profit. From a day one DLC, a *portion* of the proceeds go towards the family and only if the sale is from one of 44 US states. Nothing will go to charity, and any sales outside of the US and from the excluded states will be kept as profits.

This is the single most disgusting act ever undertaken within the gaming industry. My heart goes out to the friends and family of Michael Forgey, and I'm so sorry this tragedy has been tainted so badly by Warner Brothers' unbelievable act of greed.

You'll find over 3,000 positive reviews for this game on Steam. That's what happens when you give out a game for free that achieves what it sets out to do, albeit with a hefty serving of mediocrity. This game is most certainly worth picking up for free or close to, but the $10 price tag? That's pure arrogance.

The game is an endless runner. It's interesting and unique in its execution. It feels smooth and is enjoyable to play.

However, for $10, you would expect the level design to be somewhat more interesting than, "grey platonic solids randomly arrayed before a descending light source that tries to convey the majesty of a celestial body, but instead feels little more than a glorified night light, too dull to elicit any vibrancy from its environment." This game advertises itself as one of those, "Feasts for the eyes and the mind," that seem to be trending in recent years. It is not.

It is dull and grey. It is fun, but it is not $10 fun.

So far I have started 7 different worlds. Rather than try and explain wtf this game is about, let me share with you what this game is about, to me.

1. Spent two days collecting everything I could find until my bags were full of random crap. Setting up a home, realising I had nfi what I was doing, and being crippled by the number-cruncher-perfectionist anxiety that every second counts lead me to panicquit and start again.

2. Spent half a day collecting everything I could find. Then spiders.

3. Wondered around collecting basic items. At this stage I decided there was more to the game than collecting items and subsequently dying or panicquitting. Panicquit before dying to a tallbird that was selfishly hoarding its nutritious egg. At least I assume it was nutritious.

*YOUTUBE/WIKI ?WTF-AM-I-DOING? INTERMISSION*

4. With a renewed sense of purpose, I set out collecting only basic items while uncovering as much of the map as I could. Day 5; apparently the travelling gypsie doesn't fare well.

5. Okay. Twigs, grass, berries, flint, rocks, flowers (because stfu, I'm beautiful). Okay. Logs, gold, tools and chests, weapons and armour. Okay. Wait... is this a good spot? Hmm... I suppose long-term goals are a thing. Are they? What am I even doing? WHAT AM I EVEN DOING? *panicquit*deleteworld*

6. Okay, Bilky, you got this. Yup, get those items. Good work, that's it. OMG finally! Beefalo! Okay, don't mess this up. You know how randy they get. Okay, this seems far enough away. Lots of rabit holes, trees, pigmen just around the corner. Yes! YES!! You're doing it! YOU'RE DOING IT!!! Wait... wait... what are you doing beefalos? Why are you coming closer. Why are you... WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? GET OUT OF MY HOME!!! OMG YOU CAN'T BE HERE!!! YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING! *panicquit*deleteworld*

-deep breaths-

7. That's it. No more piss farting around. I don't care what happens, DEAL WITH IT. Just play the fraking game and stop trying to 'get it'. Got it? GOOD... Okay. Going through the motions. Yep, that's a good spot. Oh, that's a better spot. Oh, some prebuilt farms in the perfect spot! What's this on the ground? Eye stick? Wait, who are you? Charlie? OMG YOU'RE SO CUTE AND USEFUL!!! You shall be mine and I'll love you forever and ever and ever and... wait... wait... I can't lose you, Charlie. After all this agonising loneliness, I've finally found something to love. Charlie! I CAN'T LOSE YOU, CHARLIE! *PANICQUIT*.... I'll keep you safe, Charlie. They can't take you away from me if we're frozen in time. You and me, forever. One save file, one soul. Charlie.

11/10 would bang.

Pure aesthetic ecstacy. Music stopped being auxillary entertainment after downloading this game! xD