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报告翻译问题

He sent me a virus in this format
[Victim] : Ahaha Look at this picture [Virus]
[Victim's Friend/New Victim] : Oh cool
*Clicks link and downloads virus*
*Virus Disabled steam for 30 days (but i just turned my computer off and on)*
With a bomb strapped to my back
I have a nasty plan
For Christmas in Iraq
I got through checkpoint A
But not through checkpoint B
That's when I got shot in the ass by the U.S. military
Ooo, Jingle bombs, jingle bombs mine blew up you see
Where are all the virgins that Bin Laden promised me
Jingle bombs, jingle bombs your soldiers shot me dead
The only thing that I have left is this towel upon my head
I used to be a man, but every time I cough
Thanks to uncle Sam my nuts keep falling off
My bombing days are done, I need to find some work
Perhaps it would be much safer as a convenient store night clerk,
Ooo, Jingle bombs, jingle bombs I think I got screwed
Don't laugh at me because I'm dead or I keel you
and i was stalking you all this time ^w^