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报告翻译问题

My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him.
My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
But hey, it's not just about the big freakin' events. It's the little things too, you know? Like when you're just chilling at home, watching some freakin' freakbob freakpants on TV, and you realize that life is just one big freakin' adventure waiting to be freaked.
So here's to all my fellow freaks out there. Keep on freakin' on, my friends. Embrace your inner freakitude and let your freak flag fly high. Because in a world full of norms, it's the freaks who truly stand out. Stay freaky, my freaky brethren. Stay freaky. #FreakLife
Every day is a freakin' adventure, I tell you. From the moment I wake up to the moment I freakin' crash back into my freaky dreams, it's a non-stop freakfest. I'm talking freakbreakfast, freakcoffee, freakshower, freakcommute – you name it, it's freakin' freaky.
Part 1. I just did my daily jackoff ☺️ to my impostor body pillow, 😱 but when I came, 👻 I started floating, 😱 and think I got teleported into the skeld. 😮 I swear for a second I felt the imposter's strong hands grip my asscheeks.🤤 🍑 🍑 I immediately was transported back to earth, 😭 and I instantly got on all fours on my bed naked, 🤪 as you would, and started screaming in my best efforts to summon the imposter 💪
“IM READY ♥♥♥♥ ME ♥♥♥♥ ME ♥♥♥♥ ME ♥♥♥♥ ME PLEASE DADDY IMPOSTER”
I was so close to feeling the imposters sweet ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ the ♥♥♥♥ out of me 🤤 but then my NAZI RACIST mother came in and beat the ♥♥♥♥ out of me. 😔😒🙁☹️
She then said I was going to a magical place called the “mental asylum” 🤔 I’m not too sure where that dimension is located but it sounds EPIC 😮
🧡 Cool Guy 🧡
⚡⚡ Let’s be friends for future games ⚡⚡
🌟🌟 Have a wonderful year🌟🌟
💫💫 Stay safe & take care💫💫
🔥🔥🔥+REP The profile is fire 🔥🔥🔥
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goodnight girl, i’ll see you tomorrow
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