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If you are a beautiful cute femboy kitten, someone will put this in your comments.
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It's BAD to jerk off to dog porn!
Post this on the wall of a STUPID F#CKING FURRY and tell them how DISGUSTING they are

gf is prego

we like to get kinky anyways

one night things get particularly saucy

i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights

wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period

i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering

ohshitohshitohshitohshit

i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital

she's still bleeding everywhere

by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent

oh ♥♥♥♥, she looks like she's in a vegetative state

storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything

he takes one look at ther and says

"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do"

"WHY THE ♥♥♥♥ NOT???"

"we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"

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Ah ♥♥♥♥, here we go again.

I am Bartholomew Collins and this is my story.

One day I was playing league of legends with my friend Oliver Gingerton and then my little brother came in so as the alpha male i am i told him to go back to the sperm bank because he's retarded and has schizophrenia, but he didn't leave and so i got up and threw my anime body pillow that hasn't been washed in a month and has been slightly jizzed on but he dodged and left. and so i quit the good ol league of legends, put on my fedora, and followed him with my katana i got custom-made

i chased him until i got to his room. it was locked so i busted it down with my katana and got in. he was hiding inside the closet i waited in the room to surprise him, and then i started snooping in his room. eventually, i saw a shoe box full of yugioh cards, i am the one who got him into playing cards. so then i found a pot of greed. and i immediately got a boner, i don't know why i got a boner.

so i left his room to think about what i done. next day i was playing star wars: the old republic and was talking about a certain character being raped by anime tentacle monsters and got a boner while doing so, and then i thought about yesterday, when i peeked inside my brother's card collection. the prophecy needed to be fulfilled, so i rushed to my brother's room and found the cards. and so i started beating my meat silly i was about to edge and then i came all over the pot of greed card. i felt terrible by the fact i desecrated the best card in the game ever. Now this is my final message for the world before i shoot myself and isekai myself to an anime with girls with big tits. I am sorry to my brother josh. and the good name of yugioh. i am sorry

Hey there, Fortnite community, I've got a bit of a personal topic to bring up, and I hope you all can help me out with some perspective. Lately, I've found myself feeling sexually attracted to the butts of certain curvy Fortnite skins. Now, I know it might sound a bit out there, but I can't shake this feeling, and I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar. Let me clarify: I'm not talking about real people here, just virtual characters in the game. But still, I can't help but notice and appreciate the curves of some of these skins, and it's got me feeling a bit confused. I understand this kind of attraction is normal within the Fortnite community, I've always been a fan of the game for its gameplay and visuals, but this new sensation has caught me off guard, to say the least. I'm reaching out to you all for some reassurance and maybe some insight into whether this is a common experience or if I'm an outlier here.

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........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') MERRY F*CKING CHRISTMAS
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No way girl on discord? Howdy I didn't expect to see no girl round dees parts allow me to introduce myself to you mlady you can call me Jamal and I'll call you my kitten I moderate multiple discord servers y'know I'm a man of high status I've been looking for some female companionship lately and since my mother has thrown me out of the basement I'm not an independent person some may even refer to me as a big boy I live in a homeless shelter tho and I have no job I have hobbies such as reddit and discord and anime so I'm quirky like that I live of disability benefits which I spend on funko pops and anime figurines the homeless shelter however does not allow me more than 5 hours of reddit time so it's literally 1984 but please give me a chance mlady cuz I just need you to cook me food and let me live in your house and give me money and change my diapers and pay for my Nitro Other than that I am a nice guy

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........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') MERRY F*CKING CHRISTMAS
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........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') MERRY F*CKING CHRISTMAS
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Not gonna be active on Discord tonight. I’m meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn’t expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don’t DM me asking me where I am (im with the girl, ok) you’ll most likely get aired because I’ll be with a girl (again I don’t expect you to understand) shes actually really interested in me and it’s not a situation I can pass up for some meaningless Discord degenerates (because ill be meeting a girl, not that many of you understand) this is my life now. Meeting women and not wasting my precious time online. I have to move on from such simple things and branch out (you wouldn’t understand) @everyone

as a person who has lots of sex all the time, i can say that this game is 100% accurate to having sex with sexy women. like i do. everyday. this game did not make me horny however. i am not gay, i just have too much sex with real women to spend more than 15 minutes in this game. on the other hand i would recommend this game to people who do not have sex (unlike me because i have lots of sex with women a lot) as there is a naked woman in it and she is naked. she kinda looks like one of my many girlfriends who i have sex with a lot. i have lots of sex.

i also an very handsome and women ALWAYS want to have sex with me because i am very muscular and handsome and very good at video games. all my girlfriends say im very good at sex and playing video games and being handsome. one of my girlfriends asked me to have sex with her but i told her i was playing a sex game instead so she started crying and became a lesbian and killed herself because i did not have sex with her. i have sex with women. not men. i am not gay. i am very cool and handsome so girls always have sex with me because i am very cool and sexy. my penis is very big, all my girlfriends like my penis because it is very big and i am very good at sex with my women, every woman ive had sex with is very sexy and so am i. i have lots of sex. i am also very handsome and sexy and i have lots of sex.

It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”

I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a ♥♥♥♥ on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain.

Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can ♥♥♥. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to ♥♥♥ on your bird.

This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in ♥♥♥ and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, ♥♥♥♥ throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.

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I ain't no weeb

You will never be Japanese. You have no ancestry, you have no citizenship, you have no skills that would make Japan ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating white man twisted by delusions of mythical Japanese superiority and exposure to Japanese media into a disgusting mockery of nature’s perfection. All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a globally useless language to a first-grader's level was a worthwhile use of your time, but one can't expect that an individual as pathetic as you will ever know the value of the youth you threw away in doing that. Actual Japanese are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of linguistic evolution have allowed natives to identify frauds from mannerisms and vocabulary alone.

Even if your written text of self-hatred and attention begging akin to a stray dog's somehow passes as normal (it won't), any Japanese person will immediately cut all ties when they hear the voice and accent of someone who is not only a basic Japanese speaker at best, but worth no more than garbage in skills, accomplishments, and likeability. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile and laugh to yourself believing that watching a content creator that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than watching your own kind, as you project your disgusting traits onto your entire kind. However, deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight, and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new linguistic medium in which to be ignored, and not even the exotic trait of being foreign makes up for just how uninteresting of a person you are.

Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a Western man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably Caucasian. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. Hate yourself and apologize for being white to some Japanese entity that exists only in your mind while actual Japanese people put in effort to learn English for the valid reason of it being the global language

yo dude, send me a friend request, lets play together

hi mate, can you add me? just for a quick chat

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You Have Forsaken Me

Fun prank if your bro has hemorrhoids: offer to apply the cream for him, instead of applying it, stick your hard ♥♥♥♥ up their ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥! They'll be epically pranked! If you wanna prank them harder, reach around and give your bro a tug until he ♥♥♥♥, so he ♥♥♥♥ with a dudes ♥♥♥♥ inside him! Imagine how gay he will feel LOL

Bourgeosie propaganda, how much did the corporatists pay you, you neoliberal shill. The god-emperor comrade Raz will not take lightly to this vile effort of slander, may his reign last a thousand years. It is known that his glorious reign has brought peace and glory to the peoples of seatlle, all accusations of tyranny is clearly wrongthink. Let me remind you that the ever-lasting generosity of his holiness knows no bounds, yesterday his holiness increased the bread rations from 1200 grams to 800 grams. Do you not see the glory and greatness of god-emperor comrade Raz, do you not see his prosperous rule. Do you not see how the capaitalist pigs have brainwashed you? His holiness will not take kindly to the

impotence of the fat pigs of wall street. Already his holiness has amassed 250,000 loyal and fervent troops, soon washington shall be liberated from the bourgerosie pigs. All praise god-emperor comrade Raz, first of his name, director-general of the seatlle's peoples department, comrade of the trodden peoples, breaker of the chains, vanquisher of the pigs, and soon god-emperor of the anarcho-monarchist people's empire of america! may his reign last a thousand years! praise Raz! praise Raz! praise Raz!

you, me, gas station. what are we getting for dinner? sushi of course! uh oh, looks like there was a roofie in our gas station sushi. we black out, wake up in a sewer. we're surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know that means. Fish Orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. bear fight? bare handed? bare NAKED? OH yes please. we befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then

we ride it into a chuck-e-cheese. Dance-Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? uh, I think so. Next thing you know i'm reincarnated as jesus christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out (which i didn't know you could do), then i smoked a joint, greened out, then i turned INTO the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in! afhtsjofsnfnsuifsugjwfiguwngumfnfjdsdfndsjffjasfahsdf lj AAAAA AAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

For context im a 16 year old male who has yet to have a girlfriend so I spend alot of time beating my meat at least twice a day and I always make sure to lock my door. Anyways, a couple months ago I had a genius idea, since I hadent had a girlfriend and never had my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ I would suck my own ♥♥♥♥ and see what it was like. Unfortunately, upon my first try I realized it wasn't such a simple task after all.

I just couldn't for the life of me get my mouth around my penis, no matter what I tried. So for a while I gave up on accomplishing my task, until we got time off of school due the the corona virus that is. I would wake up early and spend at least 2 hours a day doing all sorts of felixibilty exercises to get myself prepared. 1 month later, I felt I was finally ready. After doing my exercises for the day i headed up to my room, perfect timing becuase as far as I was aware no one was home. So I got in position, and sure enough I had improved from last time and was able to get my ♥♥♥♥ in my mouth. It was a weird feeling at first, almost as if I was sucking another guys ♥♥♥♥ but it still felt very good. All of a

sudden, I heard the door quietly open. I could've sworn everyone was gone but apparently my 10 year old brother was still here. I was so close to completion that I didn't want to stop and I hoped my brother would just leave, and luckily he did. Finally I was finished, it was the best orgasm I ever had. I didn't know what to do so I just swallowed it. Unfortuantely that was a terrible decesison as I soon got quite a bad stomach ache and had to visit the doctor. Turns out I have a mild allergy to ♥♥♥, just wish I didn't have to find out this way.

You absolutely ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ pathetic child. I didn't wanna have to do this, yet here you are, being late (and therefore, being cringe). Cringe offences are the worst in the country, and nowadays it has only been getting worse. Thanks to people like you. This is why we must enforce the appropriate punishment for cringe: the death penalty. I loved you like a brother, but you shouldn't have tried it. I didn't underestimate your power, you overestimated your own ability to be above the law of the internet. Please hand over your internet ID, social security number and mom's credit card and we can proceed with the very un-biased trial in court.

I say "PC is better" as I sit back in my 3000 dollar gaming chair while typing on my 300 dollar mechanical keyboard. I click send using my 150 dollar infrared laser mouse. I then proceed to play my favorite video games using a 600 dollar Intel i7 processor overclocked to 4.5 GHz using my 250 dollar motherboard being cooled by a 100 dollar beefy air cooler. My 1300 dollar RTX 2080 Ti powers the majority of the beautiful graphics in my 60 dollar video game with the 40 dollar season pass. All this gaming power contained in a 150 dollar ATX full tower, being cooled to room temperature with a 30 dollar 5-pack of fans. For me to see all this beauty, I gaze into my Sun-bright 4k 144hz triple-monitor setup, supported by my 200 dollar desk.

You know, Jimmy? While I can't say that you have never been responsible for helping out the town you also created or influenced the vast majority of major threats in the first place. The Yolkians only came to Retroville because of your signal. The same goes for Meldar Prime. The Nanobots, Shirley, and Evil Jimmy were all your creations. You caused the ice age. You created the sentient pants. You made the

sick patch, you turned your teacher into a fifty-foot monstrosity, and you injured Santa Claus, almost ruining Christmas. The vast majority of this town's problems are caused, at least indirectly, by you. And you know what? In all honesty, that would be fine. You are very intelligent and you almost always do fix it, and in the end it's extremely unlikely that you won't end up benefiting the world a lot more than you will damage it. My children and my children's children are probably going to live in a world free of war and disease, and I'll have you to thank for that. But ♥♥♥♥, dude. You can't keep using your intelligence

as a way to escape your humanity. I didn't ask you to say salt because I thought a customer would seriously care or because I was insecure, I did it because it made you look weird and I was trying to get you to adopt behaviors and use language that makes you come across like a normal ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ person. Everyone knows what sodium chloride is, but calling it that outside the context of a chemistry class makes you seem like someone who defines themselves solely by their intelligence, which is undeniably who you are. I know you think that there's nothing wrong with being that person, dude, but there is. Taking your IQ and deciding that it elevates you above the rest of the planet is an awful decision that will lead to a life filled with misery and alienation. It will color every interaction you ever have and

make it impossible to have real friends or relationships. I’m not saying that you won’t have any. But they won’t hold any meaning to you, and they certainly won’t bring you any happiness. Sure, you’ll probably manage a pity-♥♥♥♥ or two your sophomore year of college after giving some drunk sorority girl a jetpack ride, but it’ll bring you nothing but emptiness. Maybe you’ll eventually abandon women altogether and decide that “your true love is science”, secretly seething inside whenever you see a guy like Nick or Bolbi getting married to someone he really cares about, who cares about him. You’ll say I’m exaggerating, but dude, look at how you treat the people in your life now. Carl and Sheen, quirks aside, really do see you as a friend, and they’d go through some serious ♥♥♥♥ if it meant helping you out of a

scrape. Can you say that you see them the same way, as anything other than the only two kids your age willing to put up with your ridiculous ego? What have you ever done for them? Inventing doesn’t count, dude. Even when you build something for someone else, you’re really doing that for YOU. Every llama-bot or Ultra Lord simulator is only created with the expectation of further praise. They’re not friends to you. They’re worshippers. And your parents? Lord, the way you treat them. You think I’ve got folks that care about me the way your mom and dad do, working in a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ like this? I wish. Everyday your dad watches you scarf down the dinner your mom slaved to make for you and prays that you might think about spending some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ time with him instead of disappearing into your lab

to do god knows what. They watch you toy with dimensional-warping science that they can’t wrap their minds around on a daily basis and you laugh at them for worrying about you. Have you ever played catch with your dad, Jimmy? Ever asked him how his day at work was? You don't have a clue what I'd do for a dad like yours in my life, dude. What about your mom? Why not invent something that’ll make her life easier instead of gallivanting around the Bermuda Triangle to play with ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ seaweed? We both know the reason. She would thank you for it, she’d be happy to imagine a version of you that thought for an instant about the needs of another person, but she wouldn’t call you the greatest thing in the universe for it like your friends do. And in Neutron’s world, whoever doesn’t do that might as well not exist. Ignore me if you want. Keep going the way

you’re going, and I’ll see you in thirty years, lugging around sixteen Nobel prizes in your pockets as if they could substitute for a lifetime’s worth of human love and interaction. You’ve always mocked Calamitus for his inability to finish what he started, but the man had a wife and a daughter that tolerated him enough to want to stay in his life through everything, and at the rate you’re going I’d be amazed if you could manage the same with Goddard. The rest of Retroville, Jimmy, they’ll never be able to do what you do. They’ll never be able to invent rockets or solve cold fusion or add three numbers together. But they will find genuine friendship and love, and they will call it salt, and despite everything you accomplish you’ll only be remembered as nothing more than the man who wouldn’t. Who couldn’t, perhaps. Get out, dude. You’re fired. Big McThankies from McSpanky's.

+rep fair trader, cheers from Canada

cursed

-rep he wont ♥♥♥♥ me

hey man maybe if you kids are going to throw get a 5 stack?

you know what man well done on the PHOTON vehicles you have made they are sick