Dear Eddie,

Okay, first of all, don’t make this weird.

Second of all… I might make this weird.

I was thinking (dangerous, I know), and I realized something absolutely insane: you are, objectively, the coolest human to ever exist. Like, scientifically speaking. If there was a graph, you’d be off the charts. The Henderson Brain™ has run the calculations.

Now—before you start getting a big ego about it—just remember who’s writing this. You didn’t become legendary on your own. I was there. Emotional support. Tactical genius. Occasional snack provider.

But like… real talk for a second (don’t tell anyone I said that):
You made things feel less terrifying. Not just the Upside Down, not just the monsters—all of it. You made it feel like we could actually win. Like we weren’t just a bunch of kids way out of our depth.

Which is kind of a big deal.

Also—and I’m only saying this once—you looked ridiculously cool doing it. Like, illegal levels of cool. Guitar hero, hair flowing, bats everywhere… I mean come on. Leave some style points for the rest of us.

Anyway, if this letter sounds slightly emotional, just know it’s because:

I’m a very deep and complex individual
I’m sleep deprived
You’re actually kind of awesome and it’s annoying

If we ever hang out again, I’m definitely not saying any of this out loud. I will 100% go back to roasting you immediately. Just… know that, hypothetically, if I didn’t, I might say something like:

“You’re my favorite metalhead, and also possibly my favorite person.”

Hypothetically.

Don’t let it go to your head.

—Dustin (The Dustinator, obviously)