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R.I.P to Jack Daniels
JACK DANIELS was found dead today by JOHNNY WALKER at SAVANNAH Street near the CASTLE in RED SQUARE centre.
His wife HENNESSEY and their two sons HANSA & AMSTEL have been crying under an AMARULA tree ever since.
Mr HEINEKEN thinks he was killed by HUNTERS who shot him with a STRONG BOW. His FOUR COUSINS confirmed he was coming from Club J&B in MELLOW WOOD on4TH STREET. It appears that he had an affair with Mr HUNTERS wife SARITA. She also feared for her life & moved to NEDERBURG. CAPTAIN MORGAN is still investigating this case took place at BRUTAL 8 police station but evidence points that Mr. J.C Le ROUX is also a suspect. The funeral will be held at KLIPDRIFT & performed by pastor FISH EAGLE as soon as the church BELLS ring tomorrow. We hope JAMESON and his wife NAMAQUA will arrive on time. They have to fly over TWO OCEANS to get here...