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报告翻译问题

Let me talk to you, let me buy you a drank
I'm a war criminal, you know me
Diddy party, Oil Boy, ooh wee
I know the dockyard close at three
What's the chances of you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ with me?
Back to the crib, show you my baby oil
Let's get drunk, forget what war crimes I did
Let me talk to you, let me buy you a drank
I'm T-Pain, you know me
Konvict Muzic, Nappy Boy, ooh wee
I know the club close at three
What's the chances of you rollin' with me?
Back to the crib, show you how I live
Let's get drunk, forget what we did
Dance floor pro I know you know
I go psycho when my new joint hit
Just can't sit
Got to get jiggy wit it, that's it
الٓر ۚ كِتَـٰبٌ أَنزَلْنَـٰهُ إِلَيْكَ لِتُخْرِجَ ٱلنَّاسَ مِنَ ٱلظُّلُمَـٰتِ إِلَى ٱلنُّورِ بِإِذْنِ رَبِّهِمْ إِلَىٰ صِرَٰطِ ٱلْعَزِيزِ ٱلْحَمِيدِ ١
ٱللَّهِ ٱلَّذِى لَهُۥ مَا فِى ٱلسَّمَـٰوَٰتِ وَمَا فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ ۗ وَوَيْلٌۭ لِّلْكَـٰفِرِينَ مِنْ عَذَابٍۢ شَدِيدٍ ٢
ٱلَّذِينَ يَسْتَحِبُّونَ ٱلْحَيَوٰةَ ٱلدُّنْيَا عَلَى ٱلْـَٔاخِرَةِ وَيَصُدُّونَ عَن سَبِيلِ ٱللَّهِ وَيَبْغُونَهَا عِوَجًا ۚ أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ فِى ضَلَـٰلٍۭ بَعِيدٍۢ ٣
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ME ⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢰⣾⢛⣃⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠙⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠡⣶⡾⢿⡄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ YOU ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢸⣇⢸⡇⠱⣌⣛⣛⡛⣉⣤⣤⡤⠤⠭⠭⠉⠻⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⡄⢻⡀⠳⣷⣶⣷⠂⣰⣿⣿⡀⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡿⣡⣿⣦⣌⠢⡙⠋⠄⢺⡿⠿⣩⣴⣿⠠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⢀⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⡏⢠⣄⣙⠂⢈⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠻⣿⣷⠈⢿⣿⡐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠹⣿⡇⠈⢻⣧⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣠⡿⢁⣾⠄⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿
I... I'M NOT DOING SEX!
MY... MY WHOLE EXISTENCE! HAS TRULY! BECOME SEX!!! SEX!!!
STOP, HENRY! YOUR BODY CAN'T HANDLE MUCH MORE OF THIS!
NO! I'VE BECOME SEX! DEFINITELY BECOME... SEX! SEX!!!
STOP! YOU'RE GONNA DIE, HENRY!
ARE YOU STILL GONNA DO IT?!
EVEN IF IT MEANS CUTTING YOUR LIFE SHORT?!
SHUT UP!!
I'LL HAVE SEX... EVEN IF I DIE!! SEX!!!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ you are a beautiful strong black woman ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who don’t need no man ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╝
…….…………………….¸„-^"¯ :\_ / o '"*'"¯/' WOOF WOOF
……………………¸„„-^"¯ : : : : : : : : ¸„,-~"
**¯¯¯'^^~-„„„----~^*'"¯ : : : : : : : : : :¸-"
.:.:.:.:.„-^" : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :- GIVE THIS CUTE DOG
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.: : : : : : : : : : ¸„-^¯ TO PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT
.::.:.:.:.:.:.:.:. : : : : : : : ¸„„-^¯
:.' : : '\ : : : : : : : ;¸„„-~"¯
:.:.:: :"-„""***/*'ì¸'¯
:.': : : : :"-„ : : :"\
.:.:.: : : : :" : : : : \,
:.: : : : : : : : : : : : 'Ì
: : : : : : :, : : : : : :/
"-„_::::_„-*__„„~"
Babyyyyyy guuuuuuurlllllll
19:01 - Georgie Porgie: Hello, do I know you?
19:02 - UltimateFishage: hey. i add you so cool in team
19:02 - Georgie Porgie: Oh wow thanks I guess.
19:02 - UltimateFishage: you can trade me and give me hat for free?
19:02 - Georgie Porgie: No.
19:03 - Georgie Porgie: I'm not gonna give you a hat for free.
19:03 - UltimateFishage: ok ok 1 new gun
19:03 - Georgie Porgie: What do you want to trade for it?
19:04 - UltimateFishage: for free
19:04 - Georgie Porgie: No.
19:04 - Georgie Porgie: I'm not going to give you free stuff.
19:05 - UltimateFishage: ok i not be friend
19:05 - Georgie Porgie: Hmmmm... Okay?
19:05 - UltimateFishage: ok bye!
25/08/2014
19:01 - Georgie Porgie: Oh hey! You didn't remove me!
19:02 - UltimateFishage: Oh? i not?
19:02 - Georgie Porgie: Yeah, as you can clearly see
19:02 - UltimateFishage: so i will.
19:02 - Georgie Porgie: Go ahead.
Clearly -rep for this guy
Hahaha, another one's done it now. That's practically going viral. Apparently it's loads of fun to edit fake conversations with me. I don't even know who that one is! It's a conspiracy to destroy my nonexistent reputation, I tell you.
+rep good trader bad friend
Huehuehue
19:02 - UltimateFishage: hey
19:02 - ☭ King Star ☭: i add you why you so cool
19:02 - UltimateFishage: What?
19:02 - ☭ King Star ☭: you cool in the steam
19:03 - ☭ King Star ☭: you can trade me
19:03 - UltimateFishage: Trade for what?
19:03 - ☭ King Star ☭: tf2
19:04 - UltimateFishage: Yeah but what items do you want to trade
19:04 - ☭ King Star ☭: i have
19:04 - ☭ King Star ☭: yes you can trade me
19:05 - UltimateFishage: Trade you what
19:05 - ☭ King Star ☭: tf2
19:05 - UltimateFishage: But what items
He then asked for an item for free. And refusing made ME the bad trader. He added me, begged, called me a '♥♥♥♥♥', and removed me. We are not friends. I'd be annoyed if it wasn't so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hilarious.
Oh, and he cheated for his TF2 achievements. What a cool guy.