Ladies and gentlemen, I need to explain something you must witness to believe. Playing Counter-Strike 2 with my friend is not gaming, it is an endurance test. Every round he spawns with confidence and immediately aims at nothing of importance. His crosshair avoids enemies like it owes them money. When contact happens, panic sets in and bullets fly everywhere except the target. Movement is worse. He peeks corners like he’s asking permission, then acts shocked when someone shoots him. Utility exists only to sabotage us. His flashes blind teammates, his smokes help the enemy, and his molotovs land in fictional locations. In clutch moments he reloads, rotates randomly, and dies confused. Callouts are vague, late, and unhelpful. After all this, he claims he played well. This is not a bad game. This is consistency.

hey lil bro! how are u doing? Big bro just checking up on u...