stole my girlfriend and sent me videos. 10/10 got to see him naked

Attracting too many women (CPEN Major)
Hey everyone,

I'm a CPEN major. Just finishing up my final year and have a job offer making $135K as a programmer a prestigious tech company.

Every time I go to a bar, party, or any social event in general, I try my best to avoid telling people what I do.

Every time I tell women I'm a CPEN major they start hitting on me.

Last week I went to a friend's birthday party. Told his sister I was a CPEN major. She kept asking me to "debug her code" and "reverse her linked list" in a flirtatious manner.

This is a reoccurring problem. It's gotten so bad that I tell women I "make websites" so they will stop hitting on me all the time.

Any advice on how to stop attracting so many women as a CPEN major?

Yesterday, one of my CPSC friends told me that they thought Physics was easy and that all I did was write down simple equations. The acceptance rate is literally 69% which is less than 70%. You literally have to be smarter than a CPSC student to get into Physics. The homework takes so much time to do too. Some days I'll have to sit down and write electrodynamics equations for 3 hours straight, and the problem sets are probably as hard if not harder than any CPSC class. If you’ve never taken electrodynamics or quantum mechanics before, you have never had a hard course. We have to know what a taylor series is. I literally had a 69% in high school physics and now it’s down to 68%. We have so much physics to do where we have to literally write an entire equation describing a doughnut of charged surfaces, and they expect us solve it with their stupid equations. Like we're not even allowed to use any other language besides greek for variables.

I don't see any other programs doing physics at all and it all takes so much equationing and writing, my Friday and Saturday nights are always so busy dealing with solving the schrodinger equation that I barely have time to watch anime since I dont usually get back to my dorm till 2am, and by then I'm too exhausted to do all the homework. The only thing keeping me from cussing out people who call physics majors dumb is the look on their faces when they see that i'm using Bra-kets.

Hi Innoturtle, I could really use your advice today. My girlfriend Sarah [23F] and I [24M] have been dating for about 9 months now. Things have been going very well, but recent events have really brought a lot of uncertainty into my mind.



I'm pretty active in the amateur chess tournament scene, and she's been very supportive and honestly key to my success. My lifelong goal has been to break 2100 FIDE, and it's been a tough journey. Sarah has been accompanying me to every tournament, and she's actually started getting into chess herself (700 lichess).

After a bad losing streak though, I dropped below 1900 and I just couldn't take it anymore. I got home and immediately ordered the Lovense Hush 2 since it has bluetooth, and then Sarah would be able to send me messages while I was playing. After that, my rating skyrocketed. I was on cloud 9.

In the most recent tournament though, Sarah made some mistakes. She sent the wrong coordinates to me in 2 different games, causing me to lose. The moves did seem odd to me at the time, but I had full faith in both Stockfish and Sarah. We had a big fight afterwards, and things have been cold ever since.

I think the problem is that her rating is just too low and she doesn't really understand chess coordinates or how engines work. The plug was pretty expensive and I don't want my investment to go to waste. Do you think I should find a higher rated girlfriend? Or maybe just spend some more time coaching Sarah so this doesn't happen again?

+rep, although very sexually agressive

Today I hit plat 1 on valorant and was instantly innundated with women (friends and strangers alike) asking to have sex with me. Currently I have 137 unread messages on my phone; 136 of them are sexual propositions and 1 of them is a congratulations from Obama. I'm just an average guy and I want to live an average life. How do I get this to stop, or at least slow down?

After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest. Then to school to take his Kanye Test. He forgot to brush his teeth. Did he run out of Kanye Crest? His neighbor stole it, what a Kanye Pest. He then puts on some axe for some Kanye zest and goes to the bar puffing out his Kanye chest. Gets drunk into a Kanye mess and goes home to the the Kanye West part of town. He realized his life was a wreck, and was feeling a little Kanye depressed.

“My life sucks he Kanye digressed. He decided to get some Italian to he flew to Kanye Trieste. He got some pasta and started to Kanye digest. You should get some Kanye rest his wife Kanye pressed. Instead he went to a Kanye fest. He then realized he needed to go to Dallas for his competition, so he went to the airport and hopped on Kanye southwest, got some Kanye rest, and the next morning was feeling ready for his Kanye contest. Or at least he Kanye guessed. On the day of the competition he was feeling a little Kanye stressed. But in the end the judges were Kanye impressed. For his performance he was awarded with the Kanye chest, clearly identified with the Kanye crest. There ends the story of Kanye West.

Unpopular opinion: I am a female and Redditors turrnnn me on so much 🥵😩

😍😍😍😍omg I love a man who gets winded walking from the fridge to his gaming chair and back😍 hearing him huff and puff like an asthmatic rhinoceros makes my honey drip if you know what I mean.

Let's say, hypothetically, your mom was wearing a yellow raincoat. Now, also in this scenario, there is a man needing to get home. When he sees your mom, he will yell "taxi, taxi!". Now, why does he do this? The answer is actually quite simple. Your mom is so fat she is the size of a taxi, and the yellow raincoat she is theoretically wearing is the same color as a taxi. Therefore, the man mistakes her for a taxi. So, what has this hypothetical scenario shown us? It has shown us that your mom is very, very, fat. Boom! Once again destroyed with facts and logic.

Not gonna be active on Discord tonight. I'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't DM me asking me where I am (im with the girl, ok) you'll most likely get aired because ill be with the girl (again I don't expect you to understand) shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless Discord degenerates (because ill be meeting a girl, not that you really are going to understand) this is my life now. Meeting women and not wasting my precious time online, I have to move on from such simple things and branch out (you wouldnt understand)

ur fat redditor

I just downvoted your comment.

FAQ
What does this mean?

The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one.

Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to:

• ⁠Rudeness towards other Redditors, • ⁠Spreading incorrect information, • ⁠Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s.

Am I banned from the Reddit?
No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy.

I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. My PMs are actually open to downvote appeals and I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.

How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com . I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right.

𝓢𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓼𝓲𝔃𝓮 𝓫𝓲𝓰 𝓫𝓻𝓪𝓲𝓷

Any and all women, please enter my dms. They are quite dry and I feel that some extra estrogen will help quench their thirst. These actions will also please me for I am devoid of female interaction and would love to read messages from a person of the opposite sex. Thank you for listening to my message, any acknowledgement or anybody who follows through with this message will be given thanks that will last for eons. Have a nice day women.

╭━━━━━━━╮
┃　　● ══　 　 ┃
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┃█ ur so grape █┃
┃█ -Mom&Dad █┃
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Wow! I eaned 9000 free V-Bucks instantly by clicking this link! Try it, a free V-Buck source that works! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50qDZnLD89w&t=15s

Fortnite takes place in the same universe as The Powerpuff Girls. Now, before you start ranting, hear me out. Fortnite has Thanos in it. Thanos is in Marvel Vs. Capcom Infinite. Mega Man X is in Marvel vs. Capcom, and Mega Man X in the same universe as Mega Man, since Dr. Light created both of them. Mega Man is in Smash Bros, and so is Pac Man, who appears in Wreck-it Ralph. One scene in Wreck-it Ralph shows a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade machine, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have a comic book crossover with Batman. Scooby Doo and the Mystery Gang show up in an episode of Batman. Scooby Doo, of course, has a crossover with Johnny Bravo. Johnny Bravo is in an obscure Smash Bros. ripoff for the Wii, called Cartoon Network: Punch Time Explosion. All three Powerpuff Girls show up in this game. Therefore, my conclusion here is that Fortnite does in fact take place in the same universe as The Powerpuff Girls.

If🤔🙄 my👈 girl💁‍♀️💕 and➡️ Beyblades👌🎮 both⬅️➡️ drowning💦💦🌊 and➡️ I👈 could🤨🤔 only😬🤚 save🏥🆘 one😫☝️ catch😳😮 me👈 with😎➡️ a😯 pegasus💎💎 at😴 my👈 girl’s🙎‍♀️💀 funeral⚰️⛪️ because🧐😏 I’m👉 letting👏 it😝rip👑👌👌 😂😂😂😂😂

If you read this youre gay

If🤔🙄 my👈 girl💁‍♀️💕 and➡️ Fortnite👌🎮 both⬅️➡️ drowning💦💦🌊 and➡️ I👈 could🤨🤔 only😬🤚 save🏥🆘 one😫☝️ catch😳😮 me👈 with😎➡️ a😯 legendary💎💎 Scar🔫 at😴 my👈 girl’s🙎‍♀️💀 funeral⚰️⛪️ because🧐😏 I’m👉 getting👏 a😝victory🥇🏆 royale👑👌👌 😂😂😂😂😂

gives the best zucc

Cool racism bro makes you seem like a big man on the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ internet. Literally say that to my face, I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dare you, say this kinda ♥♥♥♥ in front of me and I’ll rip your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ face off with my paw so damn fast your brain wouldn’t even have time to recognize it. I’ll gladly enjoy the red spray squirting from your frontal lobe on my fursuit and drenched in your dying blood. I wouldn’t even need to bath with it on because your’s wouldn’t be he first blood that’s coated my hide, and I take pride in showing what happens when someone disrespects me or someone in my pack.

░█▀▄▀█ ▀█▀ ░█▀▀█ ░█▀▀█ ░█▀▀▀█ ░█▀▀█ ░█▀▀▀ ░█▄─░█ ▀█▀ ░█▀▀▀█
░█░█░█ ░█─ ░█─── ░█▄▄▀ ░█──░█ ░█▄▄█ ░█▀▀▀ ░█░█░█ ░█─ ─▀▀▀▄▄
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-Sir Plum 2017

-Rep Bad Guy

+Rep Nice Guy