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报告翻译问题

I cannot comprehend the events that have transpired as of a moment ago. I was just feinted AND gambled at the same time.
If you cannot understand how to react to strikes, randomly flailing your weapon about; in the hopes to hit me, gingerly wailing away like a mindless rat, you are nothing but ENRAGING. How could such a pathetic thought cross your mind? Gambling is a DISGUSTING habit to adopt, and stops skilled players, such as myself, from earning the hits I deserve, since I was capable of reacting when it was MY initiative.
And don't even get me started on feinting. If you so desperately need to crutch onto such an easy-to-perform, no thought - easy result mechanic, then you deserve to uninstall NOW. You're indoctrinating behaviour is not welcome on the competitive scene, you waste of oxygen.
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░░░▀▀████████████████████ give this to 5 people or your memes will be stolen
(•_•)
<) )╯all the single ladies
/ \
(•_•)
\( (> all the single ladies
/ \
(•_•)
<) )╯oh oh oh
/ \
You take the term 'scrub' to a new level
Sent the bots have found your profile
SHUT IT DOWN
*tips traffic cone*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_vmOvfbg90
⊂ つ
(つ ノ
(ノ
\ ☆
| ☆
(⌒ ⌒ヽ /
\ (´⌒ ⌒ ⌒ヾ /
(’⌒ ; ⌒ ::⌒ )
(´ ) ::: ) /
☆─ (´⌒;: ::⌒`) :; )
(⌒:: :: ::⌒ )
/ ( ゝ ヾ 丶 ソ ─
FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA BAKA THAT KOROSU U!
…_…..____________________, ,
……/ KAWAII GUN
`—-___________——_____] = = = = =(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
…../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
…..), —-.(_(__) /
….// (..) ), ——”
…//___//
..//___//
.//___//
WE TRUE TOMODACHI
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
..._...|..____________________, ,
....../ ..---___________----_____|]
...../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//(it
.//___//
WE ARE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
SEND THIS GUN TO ALL YOUR ♥♥♥♥♥♥, IF YOU GET 5 BACK YOU'RE A TRUE HOMIE
FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA BAKA THAT KOROSU U!
…_…..____________________, ,
……/ KAWAII GUN
`—-___________——_____] = = = = =(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
…../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
…..), —-.(_(__) /
….// (..) ), ——”
…//___//
..//___//
.//___//
WE TRUE TOMODACHI
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
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IN THIS MOMENT YOU ARE EUPHORIC, NOT BECAUSE OF GOD, BUT BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN INTELLECT
REPOST THIS TO 5 FRIENDS TO ACHIEVE TRUE ATHEIST EUFEDORIA