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报告翻译问题

The desert eagle (commonly known as the deagle to many users) has been a valued weapon for many many years now, dating back to early counter strike games. According to many resources including my own ears have told me that this prized weapons' firing sound has been changed. My father, also known as "ALL MIGHTY LORD GABEN" would not stand for this baloney. I, along with my fellow counter strike brethren are and will always be very adamant about the reversal of this very devastating patch and to bring back the almighty deagle that we all once loved so dearly.
Love your long lost brother.
#DICKSOUTFORHARAMBE