I was a complete noob, picking Riki and Slark every game.

And then, DOTA Plus came into my life! The computer told me to pick Juggernaut, and to go mid-lane against a Shadow Fiend. I was skeptical, certain that I couldn't possibly out-harass someone with three razes, but then DOTA plus suggested I use Blade Fury!

The three razes wiffed against my spin-to-win, and I was about to run back, but then DOTA Plus gently took control of my mouse, moving it unbidden of my will! He ran forward, not drawing creep aggro while laying down magic damage onto the SF.

Then DOTA Plus alerted me that the enemy Ogre Magi was missing, and got me to safety. After this, DOTA Plus opened all chat, and taunted the SF about having to share XP with the Ogre. They began fighting in a language I didn't understand, but thankfully DOTA Plus comes with machine language learning too, and began flaming them in their native tongue!

Not only that, but DOTA Plus suggested that I could have another cup of water, and informed me that it would handle the last-hits for the next minute and a half. On my time away from the computer, my eyes wandered out of my window, and locked onto a woman my age, with beautiful eyes. The connection was instant, but I had DOTA to play.

However, when I returned to my computer, DOTA Plus told me "Go to her, go to her, tell her you love her, and NEVER let go! Life is too short!" Then DOTA Plus got a rampage on my behalf under the enemy Tier 3. Clearly, I wasn't needed here.

I have been married for five years now, and now I am climbing to Divine 5 while brushing up on fulfilling hobbies, like learning the violin and writing my novel manuscript. Thank you DOTA Plus, you have saved my life, and made me a happy and fulfilled human being.