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Not Paige 2025 年 11 月 16 日 上午 11:47 
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Not Paige 2025 年 10 月 13 日 上午 2:03 
Sometimes when I poop, I use the shaping attachment from my old Play Doh fun set. I place it on my anus, and make poops in different shapes. There’s nothing strange about that at all. I’m an American, living in America, and if I want to have poops shaped like stars, I have every right to. The founding fathers would have wanted it that way.
Colonel 2020 年 4 月 25 日 上午 9:23 
29 Apr, 2012 @ 1:22am
Not Paige 2020 年 4 月 16 日 上午 2:58 
I told this to my wife last night, who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully she didn't cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes.

She will be getting her own utility knife now.

[Edit: Common question - Why was this not in the bathroom instead of the laundry room? Answer. We only had one poop knife, and the laundry room was central to all three bathrooms. I have no idea why we didn't have three poop knives. All I know is that we didn't. We had the one. Possibly because my father was notoriously cheap about the weirdest things. So yes, we shared our poop knife.]
Not Paige 2020 年 4 月 16 日 上午 2:57 
Fast forward to 22. It's been a day or two between poops and I'm over at my friend's house. My friend was the local dealer and always had 'guests' over, because you can't buy weed without sitting on your ass and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it's a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife.

"My what?"

Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please.

"Wtf is a poop knife?"

Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it.

He starts giggling. Then laughing. Then lots of people start laughing. It turns out, the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up family with their ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up bowels. FML.
Not Paige 2020 年 4 月 16 日 上午 2:57 
My family poops big. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won't flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you.

Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out "hey, can you get me the poop knife"?

I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife.

Andy 2018 年 12 月 21 日 下午 12:48 
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Not Paige 2018 年 10 月 3 日 上午 7:34 
IT’S COCKTOBER 🍆🎃 U KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS 👀👅 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ AWARENESS MONTH 😯🙆🏼👅 SEND THIS TO 12 OF UR CLOSET HOES 👭😈 THAT LOVE THAT ♥♥♥♥ 🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃THOT-O-WEEN 🎃IS UPON US !! YOU ARE QUEEN👸🏿 OF THE THOTS!!! FORWARD THIS TO 7⃣ OF THE 🍆THOTTIEST🍆 THOTS 💁🏿 THAT YOU KNOW WILL GET SOME 👉🏿👌🏿 SOON !!! IF YOU DON’T, BE PREPARED 🙍🏿 FOR 6⃣9⃣ DAYS OF BAD LUCK ⚠️ 🍀
duamuteffe 2018 年 9 月 19 日 下午 8:41 
You're welcome! Enjoy! ^_^
Andy 2018 年 1 月 29 日 下午 1:41 
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▐████▄▀▀▀▀████████████▀▀▀▀ ███ of memes and euphoria!
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░░░▀▀████████████████████ haunted by the spirit of fashionable wear
Not Paige 2015 年 7 月 21 日 下午 12:14 
:mountGoat:
Not Paige 2014 年 12 月 31 日 上午 7:29 
:cupcakeelf:
Not Paige 2014 年 6 月 4 日 上午 9:48 
:Smilin::jimmykid::jimmykid::Smilin::jimmykid::jimmykid::Smilin:
crustyfat 2013 年 7 月 10 日 下午 10:13 
oh my gad JC a bomb
Ratty 2013 年 3 月 11 日 上午 10:12 
ew ferple
Not Paige 2013 年 3 月 9 日 上午 10:43 
ferple sux
Not Paige 2013 年 2 月 14 日 上午 3:06 
hepstir
Ratty 2012 年 10 月 15 日 下午 12:16 
let get drunk
Not Paige 2012 年 7 月 13 日 下午 12:17 
replies to your comment
Not Paige 2012 年 4 月 20 日 下午 5:59 
farts
Ratty 2011 年 11 月 7 日 上午 6:32 
Hey sexy. I love you. Bye.
Not Paige 2011 年 10 月 20 日 上午 8:03 
you're wrong
Not Paige 2011 年 10 月 8 日 上午 8:48 
Atlas is adorable and you know it
p.a.m. kez 2011 年 1 月 13 日 上午 4:56 
your picture is quite attractive, as well