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报告翻译问题

See 4 comments below*
After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship.
I invited him to my house for a csgo LAN party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.
Hey 👋😀 I Just checked🧐🔬📝 your profile👤 by chance🎲 and saw👀 that you are a girl😛🚺🤤 by your picture📸😏. Also saw👀 that you play 🎮games🎮 like overwatch⬆️🕑 and League of Legends🙌🏅and etc. Being a 🎮gamer🎮 girl😛💁♀️🤤 is really 🆒🌬❄️❗️
Sorry for being rude😔😤😉, I din’t know🤔💭 just now that you were a girl😛🚺🤤. Mind🧠 being friends?😻💏I really 💞adore💞 girls who 🎮game🎮 Maybe🤷♂️ we could play😏🍆🥜 some of the 🎮games🎮 together🧝♀️✨🧝♀️ some time🕰 I have messaged📲 you, 🙇♂️hope🙇♂️ for a reply📬
¸ . ° ¸. * ● ¸ . ...somewhere ° ☾ ° ¸. ● ¸ . ★ ° :.
. • ° . * :. . ¸ . ● ¸ ★ ★☾ °★ .
. °☆ . ● ¸ . ★ ° . • ○ ° ★ .
* . ☾ ° ¸. ...Way up high* ● ¸ ° ☾ °☆ . * ¸. ★ ★ ° . .
¸ . ° ¸. * ● ¸ . ... in the Universe... ° ☾ ★ ° .
. • ° . * :. . ¸ . ● ¸ ★ ★☾ °★ . ★ ° . .
. ☾ °☆ . * ● ¸ . ★ ° :. . • ○ You can't aim. . ° . ● .
° ☾ °☆ ¸.● . ★ ★ ° ☾ ☆ ¸. ¸ ★ :. . • ○ ° ★ . * . .
¸ . ° ¸. * ● ¸ . ° ☾ ° ¸. ● ¸ . ★
┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(°□°ヽ) FLIP THIS TABLE.
┻━┻ ︵ \\('0')// ︵ ┻━┻ FLIP ALL THE TABLES
ಠ_ಠ Mark...
ಠ_ಠ Put.
ಠ__ಠ The tables.
ಠ___ಠ Back.
(╮°-°)╮┳━┳
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ NEVER! Send this for the sake of tables
* . ' +:..:+ ' ' *
. * ☆☆☆ * .
* ' +:...+....:+ *
' ' ☆☆☆☆☆ * '
* * ' +:...:+@+:...:+ ' *
* . .☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ * ' * .
. +:..:+&+:...:+:...:+
* . ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ * ' *
' . +:...:+♡+:...:+§+:..:+
. * ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ ' *
.+:..:+♡+:..:+@+:..:+♡+:..:+
. . ▨ ' ' * *
. * . . '
,·´ ¸,·´`)
(¸,·´ (¸*ℳℯŗŗɣ ℭℎჩìȿtᶆαȿ)
──────║║║╠─║─║─╚╣───────
──────╝─╚╚╝╩─╩─╚╝───────
╔═╗╗─╔╔╗─╦╔═╗╔╦╗╔╦╗╔╗╔═╗
║──╠═╣╠╩╗║╚═╗─║─║║║╠╣╚═╗
╚═╝╝─╚╝─╩╩╚═╝─╩─╝╩╚╩╩╚═╝
▉▉▉▉▉◤┳┻┳◥▉▉▉▉▉
▉▉▉▉◤┳┻┳┻┳◥▉▉▉▉ Copy and paste this on the walls of the 5
▉▉▉◤┳━┳━┳━┳◥▉▉▉
▉▉◤┳┃┈( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)┈┃┳◥▉▉most MLG m80s you know or you
▉◤┳┻╰━━━━━╯┻┳◥▉
◤┳┻┳┻┳┻┳┻┳┻┳┻┳◥ will be qu1cksc0p3d by #FaZe Clan
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░░░░ ▐ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° '▌░░░▀█▄
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▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀ U HAVE BEEN BANGED BY THE
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░░░░░░▐▌▀▄▀▄▀▐▄SPOOKY BOOTY BANGER
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░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░▐▌SEND THIS TO 6 PPL OR GET DIAGNOSED AS HIV-POSITIVE!!