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报告翻译问题

⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⠈⣀⣹⣿⣿⣦⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿
⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿
⣿⣇⢸⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠛⢻⣿⣿⢁⣿
⡿⠿⠄⠻⡖⢰⡆⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⢸⡆⢹⠋⠁⠚⣿
⣷⡀⠲⣶⡇⢺⣷⡀⢀⡾⠿⣿⣷⣀⣀⣾⠇⣸⡿⠋⣰⣿
⣿⣿⢁⣦⣀⣡⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠻⠟⢻⣿⣥⣀⣽⣷⡌⢻⣿
⣿⣿⣬⣭⣌⡙⠛⠿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⠛⢛⣀⣬⣥⣤⣼⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠒⢶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠐⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿
If you are a beautiful woman, someone will put this in your comments.
╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╝
I see this beautiful Asian feminine police woman walking in the park with a group of search dogs. So I see her, and I am bewildered, her stunning looks, her feminine posture, yet masculine way of handling dogs. I decide, after years of abstaining from sex. I decided to introduce myself to the lovely young lady. I say “Hey cutie? Those aren’t the only puppies I want to see” (referring to her abnormally huge breasts, they looked like Meg-Chan’s from my favorite anime, Family Guy.) She looked shocked and awed, jaw dropped to the ground, and I felt like the man. I muttered to myself “I like where this is going” and pulled out my feminine 22mm penis, and she proceeded to mace me, and the dogs bit my genital area. I may be charged with public indecency and sexual harassment, but I don’t think I am in the wrong here. AITA?
My mum (82F) told me (12M) to do the dishes (16) but I (12M) was too busy playing Fortnite (3 kills) so I (12M) grabbed my controller (DualShock 4) and threw it at her (138kph). She ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ died, and I (12M) went to prison (18 years). While in prison I (12M) incited several riots (3) and assumed leadership of a gang responsible for smuggling drugs (cocaine) into the country. I (12M) also ordered the assassination of several celebrities (Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley and Jeffrey Epstein) and planned a terrorist attack (9/11). Reddit, AITA?
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