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报告翻译问题

I've never seem a milf have such a great space orgasm before
A+++++
BRO I EAT CRAYONS EVERY DAY AND THIS WAS AN INSULT TO MY DIET
I WALKED INTO THIS RESTAURANT READY TO FEAST ON SOME HIGH-QUALITY WAX STICKS. I’M TALKIN’ CRAYOLA GOURMET. INSTEAD THEY SERVED ME ROSE ART.
BRO I’VE BEEN EATING CRAYONS SINCE KINDERGARTEN. I KNOW WHAT A GOOD PURPLE TASTES LIKE.
THE “PEACH” WAS A PASTEL. THE “RED” TASTED LIKE CANDLE WAX AND REGRET. THE BLUE WAS JUST SAD.
I LICKED THE MENU AND GOT DEPRESSED.
I LEFT A YELP REVIEW CARVED INTO THE WALL WITH A HALF-CHEWED GREEN. NEVER COMING BACK. MY STOMACH HURTS AND I’M MAD.
█▄█──█▀█─█▀█─▄█▄█
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GIVE CRAB
____I Know ____________________######____
_______what you did______________####______
_________last summer_____________##________
_____________________________######_____
_____________ _______________#######_____
____####__________________#########___
___######__ ______________###_######___
#########_______________###__######__
_#######____ ___________###___######___
_______#################____######__
_______####### ###################__
________################____#####____
_________##_______ ____##_____####______
_________##___________##_____#########__ _
_______###__________###______#########__ _
It's Matt from the Clothing Warehouse. I wanted to let you know that your energy had my temperature rising when you came in today. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable. I just wanted to let you know how electric you are. Also, I have a girlfriend, so I am by most all definitions unavailable, but I still found myself fighting the urge to not make out with you while we were "looking at things in the back" and it's the only reason I didn't try. I thought you wouldn't mind hearing the compliments.
p.s Thanks for the ice cream, and if you feel so inclined, the next time you come in and I am working, just pull me back into the office. We don't have to say a word about it. If not, consider me a friend. Also if this offends you in any way, please know that wasn't my intention! You've got great vibes! That's the jist of it! Annnnddd this isn't a game I play.
I promise.
Matt McFly
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▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀ U HAVE BEEN BANGED BY THE
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░░░░░░░▀███▀███▀██▀██▀▀██▀▀██▀▀██▀▀██▀▀██▀██▀ ░▄
░░░░░░▐▌▀▄▀▄▀▐▄SPOOKY BOOTY BANGER
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_######_______________###__######_________
__####_______________###___######_________
_____##################____######_________
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______#################____######_________
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_____###________#####______######_________
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⠄⠄⡔⠙⠢⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⠼⠅⠈⢂⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⡌⠄⢰⠉⢙⢗⣲⡖⡋⢐⡺⡄⠈⢆⠄⠄⠄
⠄⡜⠄⢀⠆⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⢣⢿⡱⡀⠈⠆⠄⠄
⠄⠧⠤⠂⠄⣼⢧⢻⣿⣿⣞⢸⣮⠳⣕⢤⡆⠄⠄
⢺⣿⣿⣶⣦⡇⡌⣰⣍⠚⢿⠄⢩⣧⠉⢷⡇⠄⠄
⠘⣿⣿⣯⡙⣧⢎⢨⣶⣶⣶⣶⢸⣼⡻⡎⡇⠄Have
⠄⠘⣿⣿⣷⡀⠎⡮⡙⠶⠟⣫⣶⠛⠧⠁⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ a nice
⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣯⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣷⡄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⠏⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣏⢾⠇ get rekt
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡼⠿⠿⢿⣿⣦⡝⣿⣿⣿⠷⢀⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠇⠿⠋⠄⠄⢘⡆
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠱⣀⠄⠄⠄⣀⢼⡀⠄⢀⣀⡜⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣉⠉⠉⠄⢀⠈⠉⢏⠁⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡰⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⢸⣧⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⠄⠄⡘⣿⡆
It's Matt from the Clothing Warehouse. I wanted to let you know that your energy had my temperature rising when you came in today. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable. I just wanted to let you know how electric you are. Also, I have a girlfriend, so I am by most all definitions unavailable, but I still found myself fighting the urge to not make out with you while we were "looking at things in the back" and it's the only reason I didn't try. I thought you wouldn't mind hearing the compliments.
p.s Thanks for the ice cream, and if you feel so inclined, the next time you come in and I am working, just pull me back into the office. We don't have to say a word about it. If not, consider me a friend. Also if this offends you in any way, please know that wasn't my intention! You've got great vibes! That's the jist of it! Annnnddd this isn't a game I play.
I promise.
Matt McFly