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报告翻译问题

THIS USER IS A CERTIFIED 𝒿𝑒𝓌𝓁𝑜𝓇𝒹™ !!
BEING SUCH, THIS USER ONLY ACCEPTS JAP GAMER HOTTIES WHO CAN GIVE THE FATTEST SUCC® !
IF YOU ARE A THOTTIE OR NEGRO SCUM,PLEASE LEAVE THIS PAGE IMMEDIATELY.THIS USER DOES NOT STAND FOR SEEING SUBORDINATES ON HIS PAGE, ONLY THE GIRLS WITH ANIME TITTIES™
© ²⁰¹⁷ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵒᶜᵃ⁻ᶜᵒˡᵃ ᶜᵒᵐᵖᵃⁿʸ
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Happy new year. May this year bring you joy, prosperity, and good health.
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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
⊂ つ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧≡}}}ᗒ
(つ ノ
(ノ I'm casting magic missile!
\ ☆
| ☆
(⌒ ⌒ヽ /
\ (´⌒ ⌒ ⌒ヾ /
(’⌒ ; ⌒ ::⌒ )
(´ ) ::: ) /
☆─ (´⌒;: ::⌒`) :; )
(⌒:: :: ::⌒ )
/ ( ゝ ヾ 丶 ソ ─
BLAAAAAAAAAAUGH
I would assume you want to take part in the discussion, or not.
BRB killing bots
like ths if u ottur evrtim crai evetime
Otter pride meter |▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░| 80%
≡{ ͡° ᴥ ͡°}≡ 1,001 nights otter tale goes like this once there was and attrer and eh got righch by selling gold to the market then he got and they took his money and open sesame and there were hapy the end
( '_')
(> )>O Then i said: sharing is good....
U..U
....('_' )
.O<( <) But then i was like...
.....U..U
( '_')
(> )>O
U..U
( '_')
(> )>O I was going to give you a cookie
U..U
....(\_/)
....('_' )
.O<( <) But then i was like...
.....U..U
...(\_/)
.(O__O)
. (>O<) I LIKE Cookies!!!
. U....U
(\_/)
( '_')
(> )>O Then i said: sharing is good....
U..U
....(\_/)
....('_' )
.O<( <) But then i was like...
.....U..U
...(\_/)
.(O__O)
. (>O<) ITS MY COOKIE!!!
. U....U
.(\_/)
(^-^)
(> <) so I ate it!
.U..U
Happy new year, one of a name so simple I cannot make much of any wordplay upon it.