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报告翻译问题

H-hi m'lady, would you perhaps consider being my qt 3.14 gf? snickers nefariously /thinks to self/ "man if this works, I'll get this cute girl to be my girlfriend and I'll ride the cool roller coasters!"
c'mon, luck be a lady tonight! cross fingers and gulps s-so...adjusts collar and looks firmly what do you say to my proposal? waits patiently :3
Plzrespond, I'm a nice guy who will treat you right unlike all those other ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who only care about looks!
Don't ignore me you rancid swine, I knew it #niceguys finish last! You're probably out having dinner with Chad now!
was playing online grand theft automobile when hit fellow video gamer car with my car. i exit auto mobile and attempt trading of insurance information when I am hit by pistol bullet. fellow gamer goes into my vehicular and driver car. I am to look inside of his vehicular transportation when i cannot find vehicle registration under his name. call local police officer but he is not help, he is say racism things at me (i am a white in real but I enjoy roleplay as africa). so if anyone sees car license 7EDT417 please use telephone and call me
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.................| . . . . . . . . ¯¨¨¨(̅_̅_̅_̅((_̅_̲̅м̲̅a̲̅я̲̅i̲̅j̲̅u̲̅a̲̅n̲̅a̲̅̅_̅_̅_̅() ڪے
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.............,/'`\,`'-, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . /\..........
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Any chance of it coming back?
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/ `ヽ ∥
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|,! 、 ,! | ,' ,〃ヽ!;、
|!| l川 l リへ'==二二ト、
リ川 !| i′ ゙、 ', ',
lルl ||,レ′ ヽ ,ノ ,〉
|川'、 ,,.,.r'" ,,ン゙
`T" ! ,/ '.ノ,/|
/ ,!´ !゙ヾ{ |
/ ,' i ゙ ! ,l゙
DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS IN VIDEO GAMES
a lad