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报告翻译问题
my friend and i loved playing with balls. we used to play with them everyday, all the time.
my friend had ordered 2 new balls for us to play with from amazon. oh man. they were THE perfect kind. rubbery and stretchable.
we live in the same apartment so we keep doing sleepovers. we were casually playing catch-catch on our sleepover and i got this tendency to smell the balls and they smelled, majestic, in fact the odour couldn't keep me back from licking balls and covering the whole thing with my saliva.
my friend told me to stop licking his balls but i just couldn't stop. he was speaking too much; i got angry so out of rage i crushed his balls and threw it out of the balcony.
TLDR: i feel sorry for losing my friend's ball.
⠄⠄⢸⣇⠻⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⢀⣠⡌⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠄
⠄⢀⢸⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣬⣙⣛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⡍⠄⠄⢀⣤⣄⠉⠋⣰
⠄⣼⣖⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⣿⣿⡷⠶⠶⢿⣿⣿⠇⢀⣤
⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣥⣴⣿⡗
⢀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄
⢸⣿⣦⣌⣛⣻⣿⣿⣧⠙⠛⠛⡭⠅⠒⠦⠭⣭⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄
⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⠈⢋⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣾⠃⠄
⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣴⣿⣶⣄⠄⣴⣶⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄
⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⡀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⠛⠁⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠞⢿⣿⣿⡄⢿⣿⡇⣸⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠄⠄
Understandable, really, but I do feel a little hurt.
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..._...|..____________________, ,
....../ ..---___________----_____|] (Dat Motha ♥♥♥♥♥♥)
...../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//
WE TRUE HOMIES
WE PLAY TOGETHER
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE ♥♥♥♥♥ TOGETHER
WE SUCK ♥♥♥♥ TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
....................,-(c\ \`;-=´,_,-~-, \`...............
..................,/ . . .¯'\, º ,/.'-~°,' .¯`'-,...........
................../ . . . . . .¯,_ ~--~',, . . .'\..........
.................| . . . . . . . . ¯¨¨¨(̅_̅_̅_̅((_̅_̲̅м̲̅a̲̅я̲̅i̲̅j̲̅u̲̅a̲̅n̲̅a̲̅̅_̅_̅_̅() ڪے
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.............,/'`\,`'-, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . /\..........
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When I walked onto Tokyo street =____=I looked up and saw…SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333!!! “ KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA KAWAII SASUKE-SAMA!!!!!” I yelled n____n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!! he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am ___ he grabbed my hand and winked ~^ then pulled me behind a pocky shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TOUNGE TASTED LIKE RAMEN!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< (^O^) (^O^) (^O^)] then I saw some baka fat ♥♥♥♥♥ watching us and I could tell she was undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (ò_ó) (ò_ó) (ò_ó)]
Guys guys he called me a simp!
OH NO! Whatever shall I do? My life...is over! My reputation...gone! This child has destroyed me with his cunning word choice and his genius intellect. Though I must say, while you may have been the one to kill me, I hold nothing but respect for you and your noble quest. Thanks to your good work, another simp, being myself, has been forever banished from the interwebs. Go forth, and claim a glorious victory! I wish you well, keyboard warrior!