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United Kingdom (Great Britain) 
4 
April is hands-down the best real (but absolutely fake) lawyer I’ve ever “worked with.” Their talent for sounding legally authoritative—despite having credentials that seem to have been assembled from thin air and pure confidence—is unmatched. They offer advice filled with impressive phrases like “subsection something-or-other,” which instantly makes you feel like you’re in capable (if not legally recognized) hands.
What truly sets April apart, though, is their unwavering love for my cat. Their enthusiasm for every photo, hypothetical, and cat-related tangent is both admirable and a major bonus. If more legal professionals cared this much about feline happiness, the world would be a calmer place.
In short: April is dedicated, hilarious, supportive, and the best fake lawyer I never officially hired. Highly recommended. Would “retain” again.