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报告翻译问题

I've been rock hard since I found out. I
talked to my wife and she promised that
he'd always be wearing a condom. My
wife is currently pregnant and the idea
that only a thin bit of latex prevents his
supercharged POZZED load from
infecting my wife and her baby is the
most erotic thing ever!
Thoughts?
hahah! :D
it's my weeeeeenus peanus! :) hahah
ITT: long pseudointellectual copypasta - my answer is, of course, my peanus weenus :D
hahaha!
2. Bedtime on weekends is 2 am.
3. Eat at least two meals each day.
4. Eat one healthy snack each day.
5. No self-harm.
↳ Come talk to Daddy if you need
support!
6. No lying to Daddy
🡪 7. Respect Daddy.
8. ALWAYS ask for permission before
taking pills.
9. You must compliment yourself at least
once per day.
10. Don't let other boys (or girls) lust after
you - you belong to Daddy!
11. No drinking without permission.
12. No drugs.
13. No eating after 8 pm.
🡪 14. You may not please yourself outside of 🡨
playtime with daddy.
Daddy may make exceptions to the
after mentioned rules, kitten may not.
Disobeying Daddy's rules will
result in punishment