⚠️WARNING⚠️ c.o.c.k inspection is NOT required at the voting booths!!!! don't be tricked like me!!

So I was waiting in line to vote when all of a sudden this voting "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my voter registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my c.o.c.k because pennnis size is the most accurate way to confirm voter identity. Because I thought he was a voting official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I voted I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy voting!

YOU. ME. GAS STATION.
What are we getting for dinner?
Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi,
we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish.
You know what that means.
Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do?
We're gonna fight it.
BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please.
We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese,
dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so.
next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ.
Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint.
Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.

+rep Best ass eater ever