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报告翻译问题

I regret to inform you that yesterday at 11:34pm my grandson, Patty Melt, decided to end his life after years of struggling with his sexuality. As executor of his estate, I am informing you that it was his "fervent desire" that you take and care for his "treasured dragon dildos". He wanted to let you know that "(you are) the only one I can trust with my only love & source of joy, seeing to the whole gang continuing to bring analgasms for years to come". If you'll reply to this message with your address, social security number, and a copy of your driver's license I'll have these sent on their way.
God's Blessings,
Albert Goldstein
E
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You looked hot, here is a windmill to keep you cool B)
If you are a beautiful strong black woman, someone will put this in your comments.
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* . ' +:..:+ ' ' *
. * ☆☆☆ * .
* ' +:...+....:+ *
' ' ☆☆☆☆☆ * '
* * ' +:...:+@+:...:+ ' *
* . .☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ * ' * .
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* . ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ * ' *
' . +:...:+♡+:...:+§+:..:+
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,·´ ¸,·´`)
(¸,·´ (¸*ℳerry ℭhristmas & A Happy New Year 2017!
got beat in CS. don't ♥♥♥♥ with us fam.
╚═(███)═╝ Only Hundreds of these copy and pastes exist!
╚═(███)═╝ Help spread the awareness to protect these
.╚═(███)═╝ Copy and pasted creatures!
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/ ノ) ) ヽ
/ | ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ノ⌒(ゝ._,ノ
/ ノ⌒7⌒ヽーく \ /
丶_ ノ 。 ノ、 。|/
`ヽ `ー-'_人`ーノ
丶  ̄ _人'彡)
Hey There, Sexy
POST THIS ON YOUR WALL IF YOU DIED IN VIETNAM
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║▒▒║ ║▒▒║
║▒▒║ ║▒▒║ Put this on the page of people who participated in 9/11
Post this on the walls of the 12 prettiest Girls you know...
❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤
Post this on the walls of the 12 prettiest Girls you know...
❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤
Post this on the walls of the 12 prettiest Girls you know...
❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤
_____/)___/)______./¯"""/')
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯\)¯¯\)¯¯¯'\_„„„„\)
To Everyone You Want To ♥♥♥♥ In The Ass
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youve been visited by the fedora of mystery and autism! tip yours to 5 friends or you'll be haunted by the spirit of fashionable wear
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▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀ #2Spooky4You
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ALL OF MY LOVE