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报告翻译问题

I'm a 27 year old part American, part Japanese Jewoco (Jew loco). I write bibles in my free time, and spend my days perfecting my banking skills and dancing superior Rabbi dances (Hora, Yemenite dancing)
I train with my Uzi every day, this superior weapon can shoot clean through steel because it is crafted with a master design, and it is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my gun lisense two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.
When I get my Israeli citizenship, I am moving to Jerusalem to attend to a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a Rabbi or a bank designer!
I own several shtreymels, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to Israel, so I can fit in easier. I bow to my elders and seniors and speak Hebrew as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.
Wish me luck in Israel!
If you are a beautiful strong black woman, someone will put this in your comments.
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