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报告翻译问题

I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard♥♥♥♥♥♥push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy
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I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.
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╚═(███)═╝ WOW! You encountered a wild Lennipide! Only great people and friends see this
.╚═(███)═╝ rare creature! If you know a great friend, send this lennipede to them; It is a
..╚═(███)═╝ sign of great fortune and luck!
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This humble man, this FINE specimen is the mother ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ gorgeous love of my life and if anyone thinks differently about him I will have their penises removed from their lower body and slowly stitched onto the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ worthless heads because I would do anything (within reason) for him. I'll tell you a story, when I was younger I had a family of 2. Yes, I know it was one of my wives and then I grew up and I had 9 wives and 3 kids. I needed money because my sperm count was running very low and my wives had no food then. So, I met this LEGEND27 and realised that life isn't about how far I can fit a horse ♥♥♥♥ down my throut, or how many babies I can fit into my fridge. Nope, none of that. Not one bit. Just friendship. It is about friendship and this kid thought me it. Thus I sold my kids to the Korean shop down the road and my hairy wives to the 2nd hand shop. Ty.
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