mi precious kaiju princess

mi sweet love

knife

what?

hey apple

loml; apple of my eye

mmm, yummy!! can i lick your fingers off when you're done!?

You say as I am scratching my anus raw and picking my nose simultaneously

+ rep
i love this big dork

i am small when i get big people want pieces but no go take it when it is served or you get none

I would almost admit to saying it's kind of beautiful how coordinated they are, if it weren't for the fact that I get light-headed and nearly pass out from laughing so hard every single time. It truly isn't an exaggeration when you say it's tickle torture. This sucks. This ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sucks. I hate you. I wake up everyday and immediately have to massage my cojones better because they quake in fear from the trauma. They are sore, they are bruised, they are scraped up, they are mutilated. Please, I beg of you. Find it in your heart to skip this year's festivities. I can't take it anymore. I am on the verge of tears.

This time of year always fills me with such dread. You get way too into it every year, and by the end of the tickle sesh, I am always covered in my own piss and feces because I couldn't hold it in any longer. And there's always a posse of men you hire to tickle my piss-stained glistening balls raw (my pubes have still not grown back from last year's frenzied fiesta). Oh god, and the feathers. Don't even get me started on the feathers. At the height of my giggly outbursts, everyone just whips out the most silky smooth feathers I've ever felt, and they begin tickling the family jewels like their life depends on it. It's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ nightmare. How much are you paying these people? I don't understand how you are able to coordinate so many individuals to come together like a wonderful synchronized ensemble of experienced, passionate ball-tinglers.

ah-ah-ah, not so fast. thought you could get away from me? it's time for your annual testicle tickle torture. come over here and expose that fat sack of yours.

Are you trying to kiss me? Because if you are it's working.

i love you

you're wrong + L + ratio'd

Official Daniel Tiger Love Club's first get together event will be this Saturday, where we will watch the entirety of Season 1 together. I hope to see some reformed souls make an appearance. Amen and God bless.

#justicefordanieltiger #blessedlife #tigermom #hopeandlove #GodLovesDanielTigerIThinkI'mNotTooQuiteSureYetButI'dReallyLikeToBelieveThatGodAndDanielTigerHangBackLikeBrosAndGetAlongReallyWellAndProbablySmokeAnEpicWeedJointAndKickBackAndLiveTheGoodLifeAndHonestlyThey'reReallyJustGoodChillPeopleWhenYouGetToKnowThem

We all make mistakes, but we can also learn and grow from them. Daniel Tiger is a living representation of that. We have our bad days and slip up, it's part of life. But our worst moments don't make us monsters, they make us human (or tiger, I don't discriminate, unlike some people here UGH). Daniel Tiger embodies the beauty of life and symbolizes our primal emotions being put to the test, and yet he prevails, and comes out a better person as a result. Can you?

You are no better than Daniel Tiger. We are all flawed.

SPREAD LOVE, NOT HATE! ALLOW LOVE TO FILL YOUR HEART AND SOUL! BE FREE FROM THE SHACKLES OF HATRED!!

#euthanizedanieltiger

LIES! DANIEL TIGER MUST BE TRIED FOR HIS SINS!

Do you think God ever fears what he creates? Do you think, by any chance, he might even have regrets?

D'aww, was that ♥♥♥♥-filled pantaloons pressing up against me, or were you just happy to see me?
*a white tear drips down the length of my leg during my excitement, and i proceed to lap up the oils suspended between our faces like oozy cheese from a mozzarella stick, licking my lips as i finish*
Together forever, baby!

Hehe, now you're marked for life! You're all mine! Mine mine mine mine mine! And now we can be nasty-ass vile little gassy gremlins, together, forever!

W-Wow! Y-you really like how utterly repulsive my filthy, grimy body is? You... really enjoy the wide variety of nauseating, stomach-churning scents that my body can excrete? Oh, who am I kidding! Come in and give me a big 'ol hug you dirty little rascal!

*I charge in after you and squeeze you as closely as possible. My ♥♥♥♥-filled pantaloons are squishing up against your body, and my brown sickly army of warm mushy dung overflow my pants and pour out onto your waist and run down your legs. The warmth is welcoming. You look up, our eyes meet (or they at least sort of do, for my eyes are crusted over and thus are hard to see out of), and you notice the layers of pus and grease exfoliating from my hair and face. I rub our faces together, and as I try to pull away, the wonderful assortment of various oils from my face create this sublime appearance of stretched out melted cheese hanging down like jungle vines between our faces.*

Don't get it twisted!! I-It's not like I like you or anything, idiot!! You just happened to smell particularly musty, babe!! Actually, on second thought... let me get a whiff of that manly musk! Come over here, start wafting that masculine stench this way!

❤¸.•""•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•""•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•""•. ¸❤
Post this on the wall of the stinkiest cutie you know.
❤¸.•""•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•""•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•""•. ¸❤

what makes you think I care what you think ..? *gropes your voluptuous ass and shakes it around furiously*

i hate your stupid bio and stupid face .. *violently makes out with you*

COACH MILLER KILLED HIMSELF

Whatever dude, I'm back. I got my 3DS. -*I say, looking like Gloppy from Candy Land, just completely covered in ooey gooey viscous brown putrid pudding, and there's a multitude of brown shades of liquid feces pouring from my mouth, like a Willy Wonka chocolate factory waterfall, as I talk like a mouth-dribbling nitwit. That being said, despite my repulsive appearance, I actually smell faintly of roses*-

You can tell Coach Miller that Simon Sigglehorn is back in the game, baby! And just in time for the last inning, too! C'mon, lets play ball! We can still win this!

Coach Miller says you have to come to soccer practice. He says you're our star player! We can't win the big game without you, bro! I know what I did was wrong and I'm sorry. I never should have swallowed your 3DS whole and blasted out of my ass in a slippy-sloshy torrent of brown glory. I was just so hungry. I was just so hungry. I was just so hungry. Can you feed me? I'm just so hungry.

Auntie Margaret is in the hospital and is on her death bed. Her dying wish was to play Kid Icarus Uprising on the Nintendo 3DS. In fact, she had actually said, and I quote, that "playing this critically acclaimed title by developer studios Project Sora and Sora Ltd would be the only thing to keep me alive." Unfortunately for Auntie Margaret, the 3DS I had originally intended to lend her is now submerged deep in your big brown liquid goop chamber. Auntie Margaret will now die, and the blood is on your hands.

I can't bear to see you anymore. You won't see me at soccer practice. Tell Coach Miller that I quit.
Farewell Forever, Simon Sigglehorn

P.S.

Keep the stylus. Let it be a reminder of wrongdoings.

I agree with you on washing our hands to avoid any communical agree with you about the importance of washing our hands to prevent the spread of communicable diseases.

I ate your 3DS, sorry. You're welcome to fish (get it?) around in my septic tank for it if you'd like. I saved the stylus for you, though! I only chewed it a little, so you can iron out all the nicks and dings.

See you at soccer practice!
Love, Fish

P.S.

How is Auntie Margaret? I heard about the accident. I hope she and the kids are well.

No Vampire sex strings or candy licorice about it

oh my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ god you are so needy and desperate for my attention. I HATE YOU! -*kicks you across the room like the small dirty ill-bred mutt that you are and you smack against the wall with a loud thud and you whimper away*-

...oh, oh my god. No... I am so, so sorry... daddy just lost his temper and couldn't control himself. I'm a monster. I don't know what possessed daddy to do that to his poor, sweet puppy girl. Aw you poor thing, come to daddy. Daddy promises never to do that again to his little puppy princess. You are too precious for this world <3

mmmmh bark bark ..

Hey.. Going through old steam friends and doing some spring cleaning :) Lmk when/how we met so I don't remove you, thanks!

I watched this man curbstomp a homeless man begging for food, in broad daylight. To say he's wicked would be an understatement. I would advise whoever's reading this to cease all contact with LogicLogin; he is a menace and a monster, and I would know. Please know I'm risking my life by typing this.



I can already hear him knocking.

I don't know if a lot of people realize this, but this is my alt account. I'll probably stop using this profile so if you still want to talk to me add me on my main.

░█▀▄░█░█░█▀█░░█▀▀░▀█▀░█▀▀░█▀█░
░█░█░█░█░█▀▀█░▀▀█░░█░░█▀▀░█▀▀░
░▀▀░░▀▀▀░▀▀▀▀░▀▀▀░░▀░░▀▀▀░▀░░░

*gives you a big wet slobbery kiss on the lips in front of all your relatives and grabs ur ass and shakes it a lil' so that your family knows what's mine*

*jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.

---{ Graphics }---
☐ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☑ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☐ Eargasm
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☐ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☑ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☑ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second live for grinding

---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☐ Some lore
☐ Average
☐ Good
☑ Lovely
☐ It'll replace your life


---{ Bugs }---
☐ Never heard of
☐ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☑ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

+rep talented player, solid aim, let's dominate the server together

Oops! Looks like you missed a spot! *pulls your hand in closer so I may begin deepthroating your fingers, one by one, and I make complete, unbroken eye contact with you as I slowly pull out each finger out of my wet, slobbery mouth, as to make sure I suck off each and every last speck of vomit, especially making sure to lick under the fingernails*

Isn't having a friend you can rely just the greatest?

Ohmigosh, yes!!! A million times yes!! *wipes corner of my mouth with hand, smearing my anxiety-induced vomit over it, before extending it out to touch your hand*

i hate that i got notifications for this and i just read all of it, who got the bridge x z coordinates

I am never proud of the things that I say.

*blushes shyly* I-I don't think I can f-finish this whole pizza by myself...
*twirls hair with fingy* w-would you like to s-share this non-italian vomit-style specialty pizza with a b-boy like me??