i love you

^_^

We regret to inform you that your Credit Card titled "Daddy's ♥" has been declinded, any of your latest purchases will not be processed due to suspicous activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases and total cost with your local bank.

The listing follows

- 1x Monster Dragon dildo With slime Dispenser (15") $89.99
- 1x CCTV Footage of Local Playground and Preschool $15.99
- 6x Magnum condoms (XXXL) $24.45
- 1x Cummies Lubricant 44oz $19.99
- 1x Next day shipping $45.00
- 1x 240 Volt ScrewMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating anus injector, elasticized rubber dildo with non-drip slime collection pouch, together with optional built-in realistic vaginal scream surround sound system $5,600.95
- 1x Frequent Shopper Discount (15%)

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.

Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. You are completely used to the smell. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house.Your house explodes. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.

Numpty Dumpty