"I'm a reasonable guy. But, I've just experienced some very unreasonable things."
- Jack Burton

"Sanity is a one trick pony -- all you have is rational thought. But when you're good and loony, the sky's the limit!"
- The Tick

"Wise man say, forgiveness is divine... But never pay full price for a late pizza."
- Michelangelo

"You learn the basics, have a hideous experience in a
graveyard, they give you a trench coat and steal your razor. Like an assembly line, really."
- John Constantine

"He who stumbles around in darkness with a stick is blind. But he who... sticks out in darkness... is... fluorescent!"
- Brother Silence

“Something Vimes had learned as a young guard drifted up from memory. If you have to look along the shaft of an arrow from the wrong end, if a man has you entirely at his mercy, then hope like hell that man is an evil man. Because the evil like power, power over people, and they want to see you in fear. They want you to know you're going to die. So they'll talk. They'll gloat.

They'll watch you squirm. They'll put off the moment of murder like another man will put off a good cigar.

So hope like hell your captor is an evil man. A good man will kill you with hardly a word.”
- Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

"Sarcasm: intellect on the offensive"

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."