I sexually identify myself as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy, I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is impossible and that I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded. But I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AGM-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly.