Is this a messed up fetish?

My GF and I do hard and realistic rape roleplay all the time. We have been doing this since beginning of Covid and we have safe words and what not. We even have a signal that let's me know when I can rape her, she wears a special bracelet which means shes down for it with no other warning and its super fun!

Last night though we were in the middle of it and she "died". She played dead supposedly because I broke her neck in our struggle, and I got super extra hard and kept ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ her while dead and even changed her positions a few times. It was fun but I then felt really messed up. We haven't yet talked about the dying part especially.