>wall graffiti: Cut Off Their Limbs
>radio transmission: Hello, can anyone hear me? Headshots don't work, you have to Cut Off Their Limbs!
>commlink: *bzzp* "ISAAC! Aaargh you gotta get to the engine room. Aaaagh, they're all over me, WHY. WONT. YOU. LET. ME. CUT. OFF. YOUR. LIMBS?" *bzzp*
>MISSION OBJECTIVE: CUT OFF THEIR LIMBS
>internal monologue: Hmmm... Better find some sort of cutting tool so I can start Cutting Off Their Limbs
>quest marker: 600m to nearest Limb Cutting Weapon
>quest journal: I somehow got stranded here on the Ishimura. I need to start Cutting Off Their Limbs
>Achievement Unlocked: CutOffTheirLimbs.com (10g)
>click link
>HEEY wassup everyone, what's good my Necromorphs? (ad break) Anyway what you need to do if you wanna win this game, is take your cutting tool and start CUTTING OFF THEIR LIMBS
>alright aha see ya in the next one. NECROMORPH ARMY, OUT.

Hey there you pilgrim poonplowers😼💂🏻‍♀️🥴✊🏻 🍆 💦🤤you Maydeflowerers 👨🏻+🚢 = 👅 👩🏽 🦵 🌺 🦵🚫you Jamestown jerkoffs 😩🍆💦👁👅👁it’s time to stop bluffing🤷🏻‍♀️and start stuffin her muffin🥖💦🧁because it’s wanksgiving ✊🏻✊🏻🍆💦💦🦃So if you’re down to whine and dine in the turkey brine👨🏻+👩🏽=🛌🍆💨🦃

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out. anyways; game runs on potato laptop.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLO. Your wife died in a tragic jetski accident and you expect sympathy from ME? You KNOW she was a UBER-CREEP on the interwebs, right? Giving out "cupcakes". . . requesting fotos. . . NOT TO MENTION the attempt on my NEPHEW to REVERSE his potty training. AS IF THE LIBERAL LEFT WOULD POTTY TRAIN IN ORDER TO SELL MORE BATHROOMS. . .wait. . .

Do not nudge kick or jiggle the seat in front of you i am sitting there i am everywhere at once
Do not crinkle your food wrappers loudly be considerate to others or i will bite your torso and give you a disease
Do not forget these essential movie goer rules

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