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报告翻译问题

u used 2 call me on my cell phoneeeeee
when you played on static servers jailbreak before dey focccccked up
Yehhh.
It's awkward knowing my teacher can look at my screen anytime so I'll just goi now since your page has the 'Pillar of Frienship'.
>:D
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THIS PILLAR OF FRIENDSHIP MEANS YOU ARE A TRUE FRIEND, REPOST THIS ON 10 OTHER FRIEND'S WALLS AND IF YOU GET 5 BACK YOUR A TRUE FRIEND.
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Outside of work, I don't do anything. My best friend is mentally ******ed, but I suppose that's better than nothing. I am in love with one of my neighbors. She's a gorgeous southern belle who just moved here, but I'm sure she hates me too. damn.
I'm stuck in my home town because I never learned to drive. I fail the driver's license test EVERY TIME I TAKE IT. You know what is worst of all? I live in a pineapple under the sea. :|
YOU NO LONGER HAVE PIES.
WE'RE GOING TO COURT.
MY PIES ARE MINE >:U
I'LL NEVER MAKE YOU PIES AGAIN
c:
unicorn