+rep FISHGLANCER 2K25

IF YOU WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDN'T GO TO YOUR FUNERAL CUZ I'D BE IN JAIL FOR KILLING THE GUY THAT KILLED YOU!

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WE ARE TRUE HOMIE'S...
WE RIDE TOGETHER...
WE DIE TOGETHER...
Send this gun to everyone you care about including me if you care about me. See how many times you get this.

So you didn't like the cooking tutorials?

cancer fodido do krl, sua mae fede a esterco seu arrombado

But what did you see in that basement?

A few years ago, I was working on something in my basement. It was a good old fashioned hack job. I was digging a hole and I was turning the crank on a bucket. I was on the bottom of the hole and I heard a noise. It was a strange sound. It sounded like a train was going on. I was about a foot from the hole and I heard the noise. I turned around and I saw a train going straight for me. I turned around and I was completely fine. Nothing happened to me. I don't know what I heard. I'll never forget what I saw in that basement.

Played cool with you! Add to friends, I will be pleased. <3

Oh what a wonderful question! I don't get to talk about baking too much here, but I sure do love the opportunity to share some of my extensive experience. So the first thing to understand about chocolate cream pie is that you cannot (emphasis here) have enough chocolate. And let me tell you honey, that thick consistency means the chocolate is working its cocoa magic! All you gotta do is whisk it up with a fork until its just barely light enough to float on your milk (make sure to keep a bowl handy to test!) and then pour right on into your pie crust. Lather that whipped cream on top and chill for 4-6 hours, or until your wife divorces your ass for ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ up the one ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ thing she wanted for Christmas. Seriously, the recipe was 3 ingredients man.

So my wife wanted this chocolate cream pie made for Christmas and I was like sure why not its just cream mixed with whipped cream on top with some chocolate cream on top. Easy. Nope. I mix the cream together and instantly its supppper thick. Im like >red flag< so I make sure I measured it right. I did. Its super thick like not normal thick. I add a bit more cream. Not helping. So any thoughts on how to thin it out? Its legit just a super thick chocolate goop stuck to my hand. It doesn't need to be much thinner but it was just a red flag because if I fold my Homemade Cream into it in its current stage there is no telling what may happen. Thoughts?

+rep plays anchor b mirage because he is a Good Man

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☆♡𝐻𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓎 𝐻𝑜𝓁𝒾𝒹𝒶𝓎𝓈 & 𝒶 𝐻𝒶𝓅𝓅𝓎 𝒩𝑒𝓌 𝒴𝑒𝒶𝓇♡☆
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Thank you for the compliment, but I really must say, the culinary artistry is no mere "play". This ancient method of expression and survival surpasses the base desire for entertainment and surpasses near all other forms of art. Regrettably, I'm not taking any new students at the moment, but please feel free to subscribe to the forum for all the latest and greatest ways to spice up your life in the kitchen. Thank you for your interest and have a lovely day!

It's a good thing you included your water allergy, since most soups are actually 60-75% water! Soups are very cheap and easy to put together and you don't even need to follow a recipe. Just toss in all your favorite ingredients, a bit of blood (your own is always handy), and some salt to taste. Simmer on low-medium heat and voila! Your own perfect, custom soup, hot and ready to eat!

So I really want to cook a soup which would include leeks and roasted brussels sprouts, but I also want to find a way to possibly incorporate peas, celery, any kind of white meat, monkey brain, gunpowder, rhinoceros beetles, and/or potatoes.

It seems these ingredients would go together but I can't find a good recipe that includes all or most of these ingredients. Do you know of a way to combine most or all of these ingredients, possibly along with more, with their approximate amounts to create a full recipe? I must also note that I am terribly allergic to water, I am not trained in the operation of any heavy machinery, and that I have no tongue. I appreciate your help!

Welcome new member! It's always a pleasure to have fresh faces in our forum. In case you haven't quite learned the ropes yet, let me show you around. This is our place to ask thought provoking (and taste provoking) culinary questions that the experts can weigh in on! So please sit back, relax, and get your cookbook out for a fun and delicious evening, you scum sucking, festering dicksock excuse for a human being. Have a fantastic day!

Yes it was actually me who he cheated on. I then killed myself; never forget.

-rep known cheater

I love your enthusiasm, and please don't be offended when I say that 7 years is far too short to have mastered spaghetti. Even the Great Papa Linguini himself spent almost 58 years and upwards 12 million bowls of pasta before attempting the spaghetti noodle. She is a delicate and sensitive challenge: each noodle must be stirred, salted, and swooned to fully realize the potential in each bowl.
Not to dissuade you though! It's great that you're beginning young; you may yet create a perfect bowl in your life.
Straining is technically simple, it merely requires a colander (not strainer), your frothy noodles, and your devoted attention. When moving the noodles from the pot to the colander, I prefer to use chopsticks to separate each noodle from the others. This way, every spaghett (singular of spaghetti) knows that you cherish it as an individual.
From there, simply apply your preferred choice of sauce and enjoy! Personally I use Ragu.

7th year culinary student here learning how to master a fine spaghetti. I understand many aspects of a good spaghetti, but yet some still elude me. One thing that I must ask are what are the proper ways to strain pasta? I have everything else down but I'm not sure what the "correct" ways are. Is putting the strainer in the sink and pouring the spaghetti/water in it okay? Thank you in advance!

4. Perform a blood sacrifice, spilling the fresh sanguine fluids of a newborn foal, no more than 3 days in age. Allow the blood to evenly coat the peas before rolling them in cornmeal.
5. Oil is the wrong way to go, a mistake many people make on their first attempts. Take 3 tablespoons of chicken stock for every ounce of peas and marinate the peas for 30 minutes in the blood-stock mixture. (It's okay to save the blood from the last batch, just make sure that it's not too thick!)
6. Throw all that useless trash you just made away and buy my Insta-Crisp Chickpeas™ at your local supermarket!
7. Enjoy with a bowl of hot noodles by the fire :)

I usually wouldn't respond to comments like these (generally people just want to steal my secret chickpea soup recipe), but I can tell that you're truly in need. Here goes:

1. Harvest the chickpeas during the new moon, so that the sun or moonlight doesn't dry them out prematurely. (Any chickpea plant is okay, so long as the peas are green)
2. Boil the peas for precisely 6 minutes, ensuring that the water is kosher and fat-free.
3. Remove the peas from the water and place them on a baking sheet to dry, allowing the excess water to transpire out of the pea-skin.
(Stay tuned for the rest!)

Help.

I'm a decent home cook. I know how to follow a recipe. I love chickpeas. Usually I make a giant batch in my instant pot and freeze them (with cooking liquid) in Ziploc bags, or use canned.

I've never been able to pull off a crispy chickpea. Toss in oil, season, bake at 350... They go from "mushy" through "dry" then into "horrible and mealy"... What is the trick here?

I've tried different types of oil (olive, coconut, canola) parchment, convection, hotter than 350, cooler than 350... Always dry and mealy, never crispy. I'm tossing halfway through and the pan is not overcrowded.

Is the true oven crisped chickpea a myth?

Frankly, the easiest way to prepare beans is to take them to an arbor press, crush them into a fine powder, and then snort them directly. The flavor is absorbed directly into your nostrils and you don't need to worry about soaking at all!

I have some issues with salt, so I limit my intake whenever possible. However beans are also a very healthy side dish, so I try to eat them as much as possible.

Rewind to 2 years ago, I purchased an instant pot for our kitchen. It’s been a true godsend in the kitchen, and has shortened times on everything for us. However beans are giving us the most problems. With some googling, some say you don’t need to soak them first but others say you have to soak for at least 4 hours. Instant Pot sites say you don’t need to soak them at all, and in 20 minutes you can have delicious beans!

I’ve been messing with times and I still cannot get edible beans out of my pressure cooker without setting it for 2.5 hours. We use a 50/50 , 60/40 blend of homemade chicken stock and water as our liquid.

So , whats the verdict, should you really soak beans before setting them in an instant pot, or is there some other speedy trick to learn to make this work?

Okay sir, your previous comments have been good, knowledge seeking questions that I've been more than happy to answer. This, however, is entireley inappropriate. I cannot quite express my disgust for what you've posted here and I'm honestly appalled to see this from someone who I thought had a rare culinary aptitude. Please do not attempt to post here again or I will be pressing charges and filing a report to the local authorites.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ HD lets GOOOOO finally I've been waiting for this no more blurry corn just big huge long corn with lubbed up kernels to satisfy my corniness this should hold me off until I can get my hands in some real corn...the things I would do to it would make a priest stab out his eyes with a grass blade I would boil the corn rub butter on it treat it like she is a queen then...then when I gain her trust just RIP her kernels off but them in a bag rape the bag until all is coated in my man juices then putt in in a 1000wt microwave and make my children a snack of a life time.

You continue to pose very intersting culinary questions, my good fellow.
It is my recommendation that you partake in the most excellent dish of deep fried goose liver.
Low in both fat, nutrition, and taste, it's the perfect breakfast item for anyone with any level of egg allergy. I think it would suit your needs quite nicely.

Please continue to post all your food questions here, this is an excellent forum.

I'm so hungry every morning when I wake up. I open the fridge and there are cartons of fresh eggs. As I turn to my right, my beautiful young wife is sitting at the kitchen bar with a mesmerized expression on her face, as she devours premature chickens. Even the eggs themselves -- made by her into a "fun" happy face shape are laughing at me -- mocking me with their dead yolky stares.

I'm not sure how much strength I have left. Every morning I get weaker. One of these days, I'll succumb to my needs and take a bite of the yellow devil.

But before that happens, do you have any suggestions for breakfast foods that don't involve eggs or cereal?

The question you are asking is a good one because onions are difficult to tell the size of. However, in all my recipes I use the orange rule, like my momma taught me. If the onion is the size of an orange then it's a medium onion. But if the onion is orange then you have orange juice. It's simple and works nearly every time.

I do not understand when a recipe as for one onion because onions comes in different sizes so I am not sure if they mean a medium size onion or a large. How could I tell what size of onion am I suppose to use?

you do not know da way

I've been making biscuits and sausage gravy for quite some time now for my family. Bisquick biscuits, Jimmy Dean ground pork sausage, flour, milk, salt, pepper. Very simple and easy. But, today I want to put a twist on it. How can I do this?

Merry Easter my good friend I wish you the best of eggs

Oh man, Fishslasher, you're the best personm ever.

I made the mistake of not believing Alex Jones when I used his new Caveman True Paleo Formula. Now I can't stop bending metal bars and ripping phone books in half, my mom is freaking out

Very few people realize that RAM actually constitutes the very birth of what is conceptualized today as "Indie Rock". It was so advanced and so ahead of its time when released in 1971 that "music critics", starting with Rolling Stone, simply failed to understand the album at all (those pathetic critics of the time....). "RAM" is a masterpiece, at the very level of "Abbey Road" and "Sgt. Pepper's" and only today people are beginning to understand its amazing quality. The harmonies and vocals are perhaps among the very best ever recorded.

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Hey, how are you doing?

This offends me as a vegan transgender atheist German engineer who vapes organic decaffeinated compressed soy breast milk on the regular and a person who does Indian naked crossfit yoga 5 times per week. I'm also a male feminist and identify myself as a pastafarian Apache helicopter dog who serves only to one master: my chihuahua which I helped cross the border of Mexico because I hate Donald Trump. My dog also walks me, if you find that weird you're an arrogant ignorant homophobic globaphobic sexist.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ blocked ♥♥♥♥♥♥

I am not a guy you want to mess around with. I have the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ brains of a genius you can not tear me down. NOTHING WILL ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ STOP ME WITH WHAT I LIKE DOING SO YOU CAN ♥♥♥♥ OFF WITH ALL YOUR STUPID ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ LIES. I will think how I want, do what I want and be what I want. I AM ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SKILLED, TALENTED, AND SMART AS ♥♥♥♥. You will not ruin my reputation because a new and better one is being forged. You should ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ prepare if you want to try to get under my skin because I am gaming legend.

Oooooooh I’m so scared, you think you’re tough ♥♥♥♥♥? I’m behind 7 proxies and use ZoneAlarm, Sygate and Comodo Internetnet Securtiy which I all keep up-to-date. THAT’S THREE FIREWALLS AT THE SAME TIME ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. You can’t hack me you little piece of ♥♥♥♥. You’re peeshooter and kung fu won’t make a difference when my friend woh’s a B-51 pilot in the Air Force can turn your entire house and backyard into a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bomb crater. You are pathetic, while you’re sitting there writing insults like the sad little nerd you are i’m having sex with my hot girlfriends. Yeah you read that right, i have not one but FIVE girlfriends. Top that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, I dont think you’ve ever even held hands with a girl.

Get out of here, ♥♥♥♥♥♥; I don't play games so you can ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stroke your wimpy flaccid ♥♥♥♥ to a girl. It's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ like you who make it impossible for us girl gamers to just enjoy oursleves without being whored out to the world. If I wanted your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ opinion, I'd ask for it, so just ♥♥♥♥ off and leave me and my friends alone, you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ creep.

hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

♥♥♥♥♥ only haz tree eye kew

Riperoni in pizzaroni

that moment when you cant type in ts because someone is a fuccboi

THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU POST A MEANINGLESS COMMENT ON YOUR OWN PROFILE!!!!!!

rekt

The smallest whitest ♥♥♥♥