This Thing Almost Killed My Grandma

Ok. First off, THIS THING IS HUGE!!! I didn't realize it when ordering. But When every one left the house one day j decided to give it the old college try. The suction cup works well, I had it stuck to my bathroom door. Ok, so when trying to use this it was really bug and awkward. I was trying to back against it slowly letting my butt hole adjust to the massive width. I had my I-Pod Listening to "Eye of the Tiger" trying to get pumped for the whole thing. Well I didn't hear my grandmother come home early and apparently I was making some noise rocking back on this Mega-Dong mounted to the door, and singing along to The Theme Song to Rocky.