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报告翻译问题

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Me: Why are you wearing a condom if I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ you with a strap on ?
Him: Because I wanna be safe ♥♥♥♥♥!
<) )╯ 'Cause I just wanna look good for you
/ \
(•_•)
<( (> good for you
/ \
(•_•) (•_•)
<) (> uh <) (> huh
/ \ / \
………………„-^*'' : : „'' : : : : *-„
…………..„-* : : :„„--/ : : : : : : : '\
…………./ : : „-* . .| : : : : : : : : '|
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….../ . . . . . . . . . . . . . *-„„„„-*'
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┃ ● ═══ █ ┃
┃█████████████┃
┃█████████████┃
┃█████████████┃
┃█ Ur adopted noob█┃
┃█ -Mom&Dad █┃
┃█████████████┃
┃█████████████┃
┃█████████████ |
┃ ○ ┃
╰━━━━━━━━━╯
This hero is the ultimate 1v9 hero. If played correctly you literally can't lose with this hero. You may be thinking that if you played any hero correctly then you can't lose either but that's simply not true. Anti-mage is unique with this characteristic.
I go safelane. I farm. The offlaner tries to contest but I am too good. I blink on him. I trade. I back off. We both salve up. He's got no mana. I've won the lane, like always. I am Anti-mage. Nothing matters more than farm. I control the lane. I'm farming so close to my tower that I'm impossible to gank. I can not die. I will never die.
"♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ AM picker, no skill" The flame only fuels me. "Wow, nice work AM you took racks" I don't need your praise peasant. I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Anti-mage. The rest of the my 'team' is irrelevant. They only get in the way of my goal. The enemy ancient.
Moonshard, Boots of Travel 2. I buy the wards, the gems are on me. I take the throne. I've won the game. 900GPM. Pathetic, I could do better. I'm not trying hard enough. I've failed.
"Match found". I pick Anti-mage. I am Anti-mage.
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▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀ SHARE THIS TO 666 PEOPLE TO BE UNSPOOKED
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\\
\( ° ͜ʖ ͡° )
> ⌒ヽ
/ へ\
/ / \\
c==3 レ ノ ヽ_つu wan sum ♥♥♥?
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( (ヽ
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